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Post by Uskiya on Jul 6, 2005 1:29:42 GMT -5
Destructive critism is bad. I'm sure you write awesome stuff that is better than anything my helpful critism deserves to criticize.
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Post by atrus on Jul 6, 2005 1:36:08 GMT -5
Well,I've seen what you write,so I know critisicm doesnt deserve to be criticised by me.
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Post by Uskiya on Jul 6, 2005 1:43:02 GMT -5
Oh sure, you can criticize all you want.
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Post by atrus on Jul 6, 2005 1:53:41 GMT -5
Its actually a very good story...
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Post by Uskiya on Jul 6, 2005 10:07:21 GMT -5
I have this tendancy to use the same words alot. So I'm trying to fix that. Which when you've posted some of your story can turn out to be tricky. I was thinking of maybe starting over with a new thread or just begining the story again in here. What do you think?
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Post by atrus on Jul 6, 2005 19:21:18 GMT -5
I suggest that you start a new thread,but you dont have to.I was just saying my opinion.
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Roma
Sikla
The Shadow
Posts: 446
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Post by Roma on Jul 6, 2005 21:10:13 GMT -5
To Neit: I'm also a part-time publisher. I won a couple hundred dollars in a contest that I didn't try to win. Also, in sixth grade, I got an article published in some magazines. I don't remember which ones they were (I was young then *sigh*) but it happened none the less. I like your quote. I love Poe! The Raven was not my absolute favorite but I still like it. It's creepy. I like your approach...you are very critical...are you homeschooled? Where did you learn this sort of stuff from? I wouldn't say it came naturally to me completely...I have some good influence. Oh yeah...I was wondering if you could give me a list of good books to read because, until Harry Potter and the Halfblood Prince comes out, I'm stuck with nothing to read. I like books like the Sight and Warriors and Redwall and Artemis Fowl and Watership Down and Eragon and Lord of the Rings. Sorry about all the "and"'s...I was thinking about them as I went along. I'll pretty much take any subject but those are some of my personal favorites. Oh, by the way...would you read my "story" and give your views on it? I need some general criticism also...please don't criticise for what "Farrah" didn't write though. I had to revise some of the other inputs but didn't dwell on them. Those were written by other people and I really have nothing to do with them. But if you do spot some stupid mistakes that I didn't catch, please don't hesitate. Thx! Wow. I didn't know I was so interesting as to deserve so many questions! lol Poe is by far one of my favourite authors. I love the style of his prose, and the langauge he uses. To me, Poe is a "writer's writer" if you understand what I mean. Sometimes after reading his work I fall into that first-person style of his. What of his works do you like best? Some of my favourites are The Telltale Heart, The Raven, The Cask of Amontillado, and The Oblong Box. "Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter, In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore; Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he; But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door- Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door- Perched, and sat, and nothing more.
Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling, By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore. "Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven, Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore- Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!" Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore." "
Second: No, I am not homsechooled. I learn what I know from experience, in combination with what I've learned from some very good English teachers I've had. I spend alot of my free time writing, and re-writing some of my older texts. I'm preparing one to be sent and published once I look it over once or twice more. Ah! Asking about good books? lol, I doubt my style is the same as yours, but here goes: Dune, Dune Messiah, Children of Dune (Frank Herbert), The Stand, DreamCatcher, The Green Mile, Eyes of the Dragon, +many more+ (Stephen King), Contact (Carl Sagan), A Time to Kill, The RainMaker, Runnaway Jury (John Grishm), Trinity, Mila 18 (Leon Uris).... That's all I can think of off the top of my head without looking at my "personal library" In my room.... And yes, I'd be glad to look at your story, if you wouldn't mind looking at some of my work. Hwen I get more typed up I'll post some in here. For now I'be got a thread callled "The Room." It's a pretty macabre story though, so be warned. Ive posted the beginning in said thread. Okay, what other words do you suggest, I sometimes get stuck. Well, as for pronouns and nouns for your character, try using things like "The white varg," "The ivory fea," "The captive female," "The White fea," et cetera... I loved it.I also wish to write novels.Maybe,eventually,I can get one published.But,I think that costs money.... Atrus, there are two types of publishing. Publishing through a publishing house, or self-publlishing, also known as POD (Publishing on Demand). The latter costs money, but the former only costs the postage. Plus, if it's a good novel, it should pay for itself in sales.
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Post by atrus on Jul 6, 2005 22:36:20 GMT -5
The Telltale Heart,and The Raven are my two favorite works done by Edgar-Allen-Poe. I plan on typing a story here,but most of what I will get is destructive critisicm.About....say....90 percent of every member here is peeved off at me because they cant get it into their thick skulls that I am new to roleplaying,and only have a vauge understanding of the concept.
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Post by Uskiya on Jul 6, 2005 23:21:56 GMT -5
Okay, for Isa maybe do more of the "color of her coat" fae ran from the so and so . Just not always do the femme or Isa or etc. Mix them up?
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Post by atrus on Jul 6, 2005 23:29:16 GMT -5
Try to use the names less,and the descriptions more.
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Post by André on Jul 6, 2005 23:31:31 GMT -5
yes. that just about sums it up, lol. though using other adjectives is good too. age, size, physical condition, et cetera. "young pup," "old fea," "broken varg," "Ill female." that sorta stuff works too. very it up. Don't stick with one title... use many throughout. Ive even given Neit a nickname to use in my posts for that exact reason: to spice it up a bit beyond the boring "Neit" "he" and "black varg." I call Neit "The Shadow." My names for him in my posts include: "The Shadow" "Neit" "The black varg" "The ebon-hued wolf" "The ebon varg" "He" "The ex-Balkar" "The kerl" plus, I use peices from descriptions of him in posts. I might make a metaphor about him saying that he moved like a specter. Then, I might later say "The Specter moved... blah blah blah." This strategy gives you another name to refer to your character as, creates flavour, and adds to unity in the text. Human's minds like unity, and to be able to see connections. Therefore, this kind of thing works great to keep a reader's attention.
btw, if you didn't know, I'm Neit. ^_^
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Post by atrus on Jul 6, 2005 23:37:08 GMT -5
Atrus is usually the: Atrus, Astros, The Insane Atrus The Insane Varg, or... The Rouge.
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Post by Uskiya on Jul 6, 2005 23:46:13 GMT -5
I don't know if I'm anything but Uskiya and she. I just run out of words or can't think of anything.
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Post by atrus on Jul 6, 2005 23:48:31 GMT -5
I could help you think of words if you need me to.
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Post by Uskiya on Jul 6, 2005 23:54:26 GMT -5
That would be great. Just name some or something.
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