a m i r a ;; 5.2o.o9

[a m i r a]

A M I R A

DO NOT STAND at my grave and weep;

Playlist;

Run Rabbit Junk. Yakitori. Stamina Rose. Surf. Where Does This Ocean Go?. Train Search. Siberian Doll House. Velveteen. Lithium Flower. Home Stay. Inner Universe. Fish ~ Silent Cruise. Some Other Time. Beauty Is Within Us. We’re The Great. Monochrome. GET9. Rise.

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex O.S.T. + Version.

I AM NOT there. I do not sleep.

» title.
location. Open. None attending. In/Active.

I AM A thousand winds that blow.

Knows n/a.
Likes n/a.
Siblings Leif
Dislikes n/a.
Crushes n/a.
Loves n/a.
Hates n/a.

I AM THE diamond glints on snow

I AM THE sunlight on ripened grain.

meaning;
princess or treetop.
age;
14 months
gender;
female.

I AM THE gentle autumn rain.

blood;
grey wolf.
appearance;
For a female grey wolf, Amira is on the larger side – a bit bigger than the average male. She’s a strong Varg, being from a pack of warriors. Her muscles are lanky and powerful, but if one looks past the thick fur she is thin and underweight, a sign of the difficulties of living as a Kerl. Her pelt is mostly a medium gray shade. At the top of her head the shade lightens to nearly white, but her ears are dramatically darker; almost black. A thick line on the top of her muzzle up past her eyes is also this dark, with the upper portion of her face the medium gray and lower half white. At the base of her tail her fur grows lighter, while her bushy tail is almost black. The tip of her tail is white. Towards her paws her pelt also lightens.
Amira has a thin snout that she often has in a goofy wolf-grin. Her ears are large, like a pup’s, and the mane of fur around her head is thicker than most. Like most Varg her sclera is black, but her irises are a warm, golden brown.

WHEN YOU AWAKEN in the morning’s hush

personality;
Amira has the personality that gets young wolves into trouble. Her sister has the poise and thoughtfulness of an elder, while Amira herself is impulsive and fiery. She was raised to be self-assured and always ready for a fight, but experience with betrayal and surviving with only her sister for some time has humbled her somewhat, taking the edge off her ferocity. She’s beginning to learn some of how to deal with problems without baring fangs, but it is her nature to react viciously when challenged. When angered she becomes a force to be reckoned with. Often she overreacts, being too dramatic and taking even some jokes seriously. On the reverse, when it’s her joking around she cant turn anything to a gave of sorts, even when others find it tiring. She doesn’t always think things through and can be foolish and irrational if not discouraged.

Amira is passionate about anything she feels – if she loves someone she does so fervently, and if she hates someone it is with equal force. She is adamant about her opinions and it takes something extreme to change her mind. She doesn’t take well to insults, against her or those close to her. Be careful, for if you really rub her the wrong way you may find yourself missing a limb or two. She’s very protective, when she feelings something belongs to her she’ll watch over it and make sure nothing happens. This could be territory, a kill, or even another Varg.

Despite her fiery temperament, Amira is a kind Varg at heart. She really dislikes seeing others in pain, unless she believes they deserve it. The idea of fighting she enjoys, but after seeing what true violence can cause she’s been turned away from anything more than sparring or protecting what’s important, etc. She’s chosen to leave a life of killing, and because of this won’t revert to those actions unless forced to.

Being only slightly older than a year, Amira is far from your adult-minded wolf. She’s inexperienced and foolish, seeking guidance wherever she can and constantly absorbing information. Because she is no longer with a pack, Amira follows her sister’s advice, for secretly she knows her several-minute-younger sibling is far wiser. This doesn’t stop her from acting differently, however – in fact she makes it a point to act the part of the elder sister, despite the true relationship between the sisters. She still longs to be of importance, someday becoming a Drappa or another position of power. She wasn’t to prove herself worthy of her blood, though now she may hesitate to tell this to Leif. She adores attention and praise even now.
habits;
whining; turning everything into a game.
values;
family; friends; possessions.
fears;
losing; being weak or disappointing.

I AM THE swift uplifting rush

OF QUIET birds in circled flight.

family pack;
URSA PACK.
arvid and raisa.
elias, emil, amira and theo.
brick and vera.
luca, ainsley, kern.
family;
arvid and raisa. (sire and dam)
elias and emil. (first litter)
leif and theo. (second litter)
brick and vera. (uncle and aunt)
history;
Ursa pack is a group of warriors. They love to fight, and they love power. Still, like any other pack, it was a time of great excitement the alpha’s second litter of pups was born. Arvid, the father, was pacing outside the den, anxiously waiting. The first litter, Elias and Emil, waited with their aunt and uncle under a nearby tree proudly. The Sikla, Luca, was gathering food for the mother and even she pranced across the small layer of snow. Everyone in the pack knew the pups were ready to be born, so there was nothing but anticipation and joy. Within the birthing den, Raisa lay alone.

Then, the miracle happened. First, a larger, female pup appeared. After being licked clean it could be seen that she had a strong resemblance to her father. The second offspring, this one male, had the normal colorations of a grey wolf. The final, third pup was female, and colored similarly to her mother. These were the second litter of Arvid and Raisa.

Arvid, who was now waiting with trepidation, stared anxiously at the birthing den at the sounds of the pups’ squeaking. Finally, Raisa called him in for the naming ceremony. The sight of his three pups suckling filled him with pride. The largest femme who most resembled him with her black pelt he decided to name. “The black one is Amira, after my mother’s dam.” He nuzzled his mate affectionately as she named the male Theo, and the other female Leif after other family members.

Soon, the rest of the pack was allowed to meet the newest members of the pack, all feeling the same joy because of the small, wriggling bodies.

In a few weeks, the pups were beginning to open their eyes and crawl around on their tiny paws. With the Sikla and even other members of the pack bringing food for the mother, Raisa and the pups did not leave the den for some time. As with all pups, it was around this time they were weaned and trained to eat meat rather than drink their mother’s milk. Finally, finally, they were brought outside the den. For Amira, this was what she considered the beginning of her life. Who wanted to live in a hole in the ground, anyways? This new world was bright, exciting, filled with color and smells and life. Wonderful!

It was an ordinary day in the eastern forest of Romania. However, for the litter of Amira, Theo, and Leif, this was the most exciting day of their lives thus far. The whole pack was coming along, as there were no pups younger than the second litter to watch over. Ursa moved as one to the place the hunt would begin. Everyone had their role and new it well – the plan for this hunt was a usual one, simply surrounding the weakest, most vulnerable deer. The pups would be allowed to move in for the kill.

Amira felt herself incredibly happy. It was obvious to her at this age that father favored her; she was most like him, after all. Arvid asked her to find the weakest deer, giving her the honor. With a bit of help she indicated the target, making her father even more proud. Amira decided at the moment that she would be the one to make the kill, so father would be the most proud of her. She could sense the jealously of her siblings, but ignored it. They’d learn to appreciate her eventually. At least, that’s what father had said when she’d last mentioned it.

As a unit the pack moved, before dividing and ending up in a circle around the intended prey. It didn’t take long to isolate the animal from its herd. Theo, sensing his older sister’s intentions, took off toward the limping deer to steal the glory for himself. Amira and Leif, confused by his sudden action, followed after him toward the prey. Seeing the incoming threat it ran – only to be tackled by Elias and Arvid. Raisa, Luca, and Brick forced the creature down, and Brick bit down on its throat, killing it.

Theo was scolded for his foolishness especially, and the girls received their less-harsh scolding as well. The pups were still given the first dibs on the meal. Amira, determined to beat her dumb brother who had made her look silly in front of father, dived toward the carcass to secure the first bite. Theo would not be defeated however, and bumped her out of the way. The siblings growled at each other, true to their temperamental nature. Leif made her way to the meal silently; she needed no fanfare. There was enough for everyone, after all.

About a week later, Elias approached his younger siblings. Amira and Theo were bickering as usual, and Leif sat nearby. “Calm down, pups,” the larger Varg beckoned. Their fighting ceased, and Amira and Theo both gazed at their brother. He was so lucky, already strong and adult, while they were stuck in these scrawny bodies. Amira was beginning to wonder if she’d ever be as powerful as her older brothers and her father. Theo was always picking on her, telling her that a femme could never be stronger than a mann. It wasn’t fair. Elias knew their bickering and play fighting was only natural for pups, practice for when they really needed to show someone who was boss. Him and Emil had done it too, and now look at them!

The reason he had came was a decision to help with the siblings’ apparent lack of teamwork. Sibling rivalry became unhealthy when it endangered the pack – and nearly losing a meal was a fine example of this. He took them to a group of chamois, the mountain goats, which were migrating through the pack land. After explaining to them a bit of how important it was to work together as one, he let the three youngsters isolate an older chamois, which had been spotted by Leif and bring it down – together. This time, their hunt was truly successful. When they brought it back to their parents, Arvid gave all his attention to Amira, telling her how very proud he was. Leif and Theo were not completely left out – Emil and Elias did not hesitate to praise the two younger pups.

As they grew, the Theo and Amira learned to control their bickering, though the tension between them remained. Amira and Leif, who was still the calmest one of the lot, became close at this time, realizing how nice it was to have a sister – especially one who wasn’t fighting for father’s attention with you, Amira thought.

Now it has been four or five months since life began for the youngsters. Two new members joined the pack – Ainsley and Kern. They were tough Kerl who were well suited with the lifestyle of the pack, one that the pups were becoming more and more aware of. Ursa was still a pack of warriors, and they were returning to their ways now that the pups were old enough. The two new members fit in easily, but Leif and Amira especially grew fond of the tales the two brought with them. All the adventures of Kerl who, as they eventually told the girls, were secretly mates! Amira knew what would happen if she told father about Ainsley and Kern’s secret, and though she longed for the praise she’d receive, preferred having the Vargs around.

Amira’s pure black pelt was beginning to fade in some areas, lightening below her maw and belly, on the top of her head and the tip of her tail. If anything it make her more beautiful, even in the eyes of her father, whose favoritism never ceased.

The youngest of the pack were now almost eight months old. The pups true personalities were beginning to show – Leif spent time with Luca whilst Amira sparred with Theo and the rest of the pack (aside from the secret lovers, who were off somewhere Amira tried not to know about). Amira loved the thrill of learning to fight, and enjoyed every moment of this bliss. It was the perfect way to let out her energy; doing this kept her temper at bay being she released it all during the play fighting. It was great to spend time with her father, who loved her so, and her older brothers. It was during one of these training sessions that the cry of a fellow Varg could be heard.

There was a moment of silence, Amira with Theo pinned under her large paws and another struggle between the brutes Emil and Elias, before everyone was into action. They ran in unison, following the sound. Amira paid special attention to how everyone reacted; if she were one day the Drappa, she would certainly need to know what to do in every situation. Yes, she was already dreaming of the future where she’d lead the pack.

They found the half-dead, scrawny Kerl on the edge of the pack lands. He asked to join the pack, and Amira longed to hear the discussion between her parents of what to do but, still being a pup, was left out. The Kerl was not granted entrance to the pack, for as Arvid said, he was weak and would be of no benefit. Amira’s instincts agreed, although she wasn’t sure it was reasonable to just leave the Kerl for dead. Still, it was not her place to question it and accepted the decision.

Later, when everyone returned to the pack lands, Amira was tired of sparring and wanted to spend some time on her own. She paced near the den silently. However, Leif then came to her with a rabbit in her jaws. Amira wondered why she’d bothered to catch such easy prey; it hadn’t been long since the pack had gone hunting and caught something much larger. Leif asked Amira to follow, for she wanted to find the Kerl that had been rejected earlier. Amira wasn’t sure why, but Leif was her sister so she agreed. Together they tracked the Kerl, following his trail until they found him. Rather, they found his body. Amira wasn’t sure at the time what Leif thought of this, only that her sibling dropped the rabbit carcass and left with a growl, leaving Amira alone with the fallen Kerl. Strangely, the Varg had been killed – it was obvious from the wound it had endured. Even Amira’s untrained eyes could tell it had been done by something with claws and fangs, yet she could smell nothing but her parents’ scents on the corpse – though that had to have been from earlier. The poor Kerl, Amira thought. If only he’d been strong enough to join their pack, then he’d be fine.

She left to find her sister then, and see what she thought of this. Leif had run off in such a huff. Once back in the pack lands, Amira realized Leif’s scent lead to her special hiding spot, one that only the two of them knew about. She got the feeling Leif needed to be alone, and went elsewhere. Obviously this event had disturbed her sister more than herself; Leif was a softy.

With the pack now larger and with the pups now a full year old, the Dragga and Drappa decided that the territory needed to be expanded. They would have to take the lands of another pack, but for Ursa this would surely be to problem – they were warriors! Everyone seemed excited (other than Leif) and naturally Amira was caught up in these feelings. This was her chance to prove to Arvid that she was deserving of one day leading the pack. The time for the battle approached, and Amira knew she was reading – her pelt was no longer the plain black of her youth; now it had grown into it’s own shades so that she was not a copy of father, but rather a wolf of her own. She was strong, more so than Theo and Leif, and ready to truly be part of Ursa. Despite the encouragement she gave Leif, and the sparring that father commanded, Amira’s sister truly wanted no part in the fighting. It saddened Amira that her sister would miss out on such a thing.

The fighting began, and Amira found herself pulled into the whirlwind of biting, clawing, growing, and dominating. It was so thrilling! At the time they seemed evenly matched as far as numbers went, but Amira knew her own pack was far stronger. This is why she decided to go find her sister and show her how thrilling this was. She knew everyone would be happy if Leif would join them, having already noticed her missing – and she knew just where her sister was hiding. Amira found Leif, of course, in her secret little cave. Leif asked what was happening in the fight, but Amira couldn’t describe it in words, not with the adrenaline still pumping through her veins and the battle so nearby. Instead she simply begged Leif to come with her into the fray and experience what she had. “Daddy wants you to be there, he noticed you were gone, we’re winning!” she told Leif, and it was true. Finally, after much rushed urging, the slightly younger Varg agreed and followed Amira to the battle.

What they came across was not at all what Amira wanted to show Leif. Just as they arrived the battle had been won – the few surviving enemies tore off into the distance, howling their remorse for their fallen pack mates. It was a glorious moment that Amira was glad to have witnessed – but only for a moment. It was then, before the youngsters’ eyes, Arvid and Raisa tackled Elias and in a frenzy tore apart his throat and gut as they had the other pack. He yelped pathetically before dying by his parents’ madness. Amira was in shock; she didn’t know what to think. How could her parents do this? How could father be so monstrous? This was not at all how she’d imagined it to be; carnage everywhere and left with a dead brother by her own family. Why, why why? Was all she could think.

Leif’s calm but smoldering voice saved Amira. “I’m leaving Amira, you are welcome to come, but I am leaving.” Amira looked sadly one last time at the pack, her family who she had loved and trusted for her entire life. “Yes, you’re right, let’s go.” Theo had no interest; he stood defiantly together with the rest of Ursa. Amira didn’t know exactly what Leif felt; anger, surely, but perhaps she’d seen something like this coming all along. Amira only now remembered and fully understood all the things in the past that she should have recognized as the violence and insanity her parents possessed – especially the death of the Kerl months before. Amira was falling, spiraling in her mind, undoing everything she had ever believed and reconsidering it. Oh how she mourned those next few weeks. She found that she could survive, however, with only her sister to cherish.

I AM THE soft stars that sing at night.

DO NOT STAND at my grave and cry;

credits;

lyrics. René Clausen & Eleanor Daley
photographs. Monty Sloan
graphics. Leif. BT
template. Leif. BT

notes;

aging. 2 IRL weeks = 1 IC month.
time. Freezes when a RP starts and life goes on once it ends.
role-play. PM me if you want to RP with me.

I AM NOT there. I did not die.

Tonight eternity alone is near,
the sunset and the dark'ning blue.
Tonight eternity alone is near,
the sunset and the dark'ning blue,
there is no space for fear
only the wonders of it's truth.