If only you could warm the lands///Krystal///

[Ayasha]

The warmer weather had vanished in the lands of Translyvania. All that could be seen was a white blanket that covered the land and threatened to envelop any who dared to walk upon the untouched white powder. Of course life couldn't go on unless there were those brave ones who not necessarily dared, but rather who were forced to venture out into the cold terra. Food could never be compromised, and much of the inhabitants of Translyvania were beginning to feel stretched thin. Ge-rad was no exception and the gods made sure that no one would be the exception this winter. The weather itself wasn't what plagued the vargs that lived behind the protective walls of the Ge-rad border. It was the lack of food, and the new addition of pups to the pack family. There had been little celebration for the birthing of Kaemon and Ayasha's puppies, but no one truly seemed to want to rejoice for this occasion. For this-as some might call it-mistake. It wasn't that the pups weren't wanted, they just hadn't been timed correctly, or even expected at all. Now Ge-rad had to pull together all of its resources to not only feed a rather large pack, but to feed four new pups. The cool weather seemed a nice change to some, those who ventured outside of the warmth of their dens to escape the confinement fever that often plagued those few. Two femmes ventured the land beyond the walls of their dens. Two sister, not by blood, but by heart.

A solid ebon fae stood next to her sister, her emerald orbs gazing out from her sleek face and muzzle. Her teats were still somewhat swollen from the still nursing puppies, but her belly no longer sagged. The lack of food had taken quite a toll on her. Compared to any other varg she probably looked malnourished. She ate what she could. She took care of herself and the pups. But today, today there was a different focus. She looked over to her sister and smiled. There was a tiny rumor that she had found out about regarding her sister and some unnamed mann. Though Ayasha was happy that her sister might have someone special, she still worried that she didn't give herself enough credit. It was a habit of both her mother and her sister- to put everyone else before themselves. Krystal..Krystal especially seemed to weigh heavy from the lack of self worth. Sitting on her haunches Ayasha groomed her face as she debated on how to open up this somewhat serious conversation.

"Sis. I've been meaning to talk to you about something. I actually had it in mind to talk to you about it when I came back. But..then the puppies came and well."
Ayasha smiled and nuzzled her sister's neck. "I've noticed that lately, you seem a little different. I've heard some rumors..well one from a realiable source. There might be a mann in your life?"

Ayasha looked back to the white landscape that made up her home. Soon she would need to go back to her night patrols. But for now she had the care of her pups to keep her busy, not to mention her relationship with Kaemon. "Now before you say anything. Sis...I want you to be careful with yourself. It's wonderful that you've found someone. But I want that someone to be the right one for you. I know...that it's been hard watching all your friends find mates, and even have pups. But listen to me. You are worth so much more than you think you are. I watched you take hard hits before and I've watched you let other beat you down and walk all over you. I don't want to see that with someone you give your heart to."

She turned to look at her sister, knowing that she said some pretty heavy things and hadn't really sugar coated any of it. But she needed her sister to hear her words for what they worth. She couldn't watch her sister take another hit from someone when there was so many better things for her. Ayasha had watched her mother go through a similar period, and it hurt her. She couldn't watch her sister endure the same thing. At the same time she was generally interested in this new mann that had entered her sister's life. Though she was concerned that he was going to be good enough for her sister.
"I don't want you to compromise yourself for someone because you feel left out from what everyone else is doing. I know that you thought no one would ever love you. But you are wrong sis. I do truly hope that whoever this new mann is, that he treats you well. You are worth more than you think you are, and it hurts me to watch you treat yourself so poorly. I know that what I'm saying is tough, and heavy and it hurts. But you have to hear it." She watched her sister carefully. She wanted her sister to know that these words came out of love and protection. But she knew that they were also sharp and might be taken heavier than what she was really intending them to be taken, But Krystal had shown Ayasha that she was worth more than she had thought, and now it was time for the favor to be repaid.

[Krystal Zanguzen]

Winter’s icy grip grasped the land of Ge-Rad firmly within its frosty hands, threatening to squeeze the very veins that ran throughout the terra, till all life was expunged in its entirety. The waters had frozen over, covered in a blanket of white powder cold to the touch. Temperatures had dropped to below freezing, and the world itself shifted from the once autumn flavors to grim shades of gray and ivory. Life in itself was a struggle for survival during this time of year, as all the creatures of the land stood at the mercy of what is known as Wolfbane’s winter. The wolves of Ge-Rad were no different, however intelligence was on the side of the Varg, and the Ge-Rad pack had plenty of experience in which to weather the season and its worse days. However, this season would be different. A new element had played into the plans of the Ge-Rad pack, unexpected by all yet still herald and welcomed none the less. Within the borders of the land grew a precious treasure, the future of the pack. Four cubs, born from the union-ship between Ayasha and Kaemon, but this gift of life could not have come at a worse time.

Food supplies were low, the herds of the land had moved on to safer ground, and no doubt this winter would test the Ge-Rad pack’s will and endurance. Each pack member pulled its weight in work and then some, doing everything they can to keep the cubs well fed and warm during a time in which many lives were claimed every year. So far Ge-Rad has managed to hold its own despite more stomach’s to satisfy. Yet a fine line divided safety from death for the cubs, which could certainly be disturbed or crossed at any times. There was no telling if any of them would survive the winter season, but if death is to come, it certainly won’t be for a lack of effort on the parts of all Ge-Radians. On this day, two Ge-Radians walked one of the many ivory blanketed paths that lay over Ge-Rad soil. These two fae’s though not sisters by blood, held a bond that could very well rival real sisters. Krystal and Ayasha were sisters of the heart, and no obstacle could ever hope to disrupt the diamond chain that linked the two fae’s together. It had been a while since these two fae had last spoken privately together. Both had been very busy as of recent. One was a mother to new born pups, the other did her best to find food for those pups, as well as patrol the land.

Ayasha smiled at Krystal, to which the two toned scout returned such a smile with one of her own. It was then that Ayasha took the moment to sit, and groom Krystal’s face. The former Zanguzen closed her eyes, and allowed her mind to clear and eyes to close. She too took a seat, and allowed herself to fully be at ease of all worries and troubles. She could feel the relief of weight and responsibility being lifted from her form, and a soft sigh would soon escape Krystal’s maw, forming mist around her muzzle as hot breath mixed with icy weather. It was then when the midnight fae began to speak, and Krystal opened her bi-hued sapphire and emerald pools. Auds erected and moved forward, she listened to her pack sister’s words. Something was on Ayasha’s mind that needed to be addressed and Krystal listened intently. A nuzzle had been shared and the lead scout giggled and spoke. “Your beautiful puppies you mean. Ok, what do you want to talk about?” Krystal had no idea where this conversation was going to go or lead too. But the next several lyrics quickly solved that riddle.

Instantly Krystal’s maw went dry and her heart skipped a beat. It was as if the air itself had escaped the fae completely, leaving the lead scout breathless and cold. As Ayasha scanned the terra around her, Krystal’s mind was racing with questions. There seemed no logical way that word of her time spent with Koran’s Beta could have reached the curious ears of Ge-Rad. Images of her last encounter with the ebon mann now flooded her mind, but this time there was heavy concern embedded in Krystal’s conscious mind. Rumors had a way of getting out of hand, and as far as the former Zanguzen knew, her relationship with Kai was only a friendship and nothing more. So who had started such rumors, and how did they reach Ge-Rad were indeed puzzling and perplexing questions. In truth, Krystal had wanted to wait for the right time to tell Draeg and the rest of her pack about Kai. But there was a problem with that plan. Krystal herself didn’t know if Kai held any feelings for her. As far as Krystal knew, her crush could very well be one sided, and as such it made no sense for anyone else to know about it.

Before the lead scout could form any words, Ayasha had beaten her to the punch. And though her sister’s lyrics were bathed in concern, they were also as icy as the weather that surrounded the two wolves. Ayasha’s words had hit a very tender and vulnerable subject, for they brought back a series of painful memories that the former Zanguzen had once buried and hoped to forget. But it was clear that those memories needed to be addressed and learned from. Once before, Krystal had loved another, and given her heart and soul to him. Only to be rejected and casted away, those feelings not returned or even so much as understanding. Krystal’s heart and emotions had been stepped on once before and there was no denying the obvious fact that such a fate could happen again. For the first time, Krystal considered the possibility that Kai could very well do to her as Draeg had done. The two-toned Ge-Radian now took on a more somber look. For as a quick moment of silence passed between the two fae’s, Krystal’s thoughts were replaying her time spent with Koran’s Beta. Only this time, one moment seemed to stick out more than the others.

Ayasha’s next set of lyrics came with the same level of frost and concern as her previous set. And of course Ayasha was right as always. Krystal put the pack and her friends first before her own needs and feelings. She was of course happy for the blessings that had been bestowed to her closest friends, but felt emptiness for herself, knowing that she still didn’t have those same gifts. The lead scout closed her eyes, trying to sort out all the words and emotions into audible lyrics that could make sense. She was drowning in her own feelings and overwhelmed by the situation that played it-self out. “It’s not that…” Krystal began, keeping her eyes closed as she spoke. “It’s not that… I’m sad or anything like that…” Her tone was soft and lost as she spoke; desperately she tried to make sense of everything. “I just… I just know my place that’s all. My siblings, my clan, they all called me ugly, deformed, hideous. Their eyes looked on me as if I was a monster; ‘a child of Wolfbane’ is what they all called me.” It was strange, for although Krystal claimed to not be sad, her tone spoke differently, each lyric had been dressed in somber tunes. In a sense, Krystal was still trying to hide her sadness, but her tone could not be made to lie.

“But I’ve come to realize, that you don’t need to be beautiful, to be able to love and care for your family and friends. Ge-Rad, my family, my friends, you my sister, are so important to me. You are my entire world, and if Tor blesses you with a mate and pups, I’m of course going to be happy for you. Tor will always bless her beautiful children, she just…” The words that would come next were difficult to speak. They threatened to rip and claw at the lead scout’s throat, their bitter and acidic claws felt as though they could tear holes and mangle flesh as they made their way into the world. “She just… she just doesn’t bless her mistake’s… that’s all…” The air itself had gone silent, as if the land of Ge-Rad wished to listen in onto what was going on. The truth had now been revealed, a secret kept hidden from the ears of her family. Though her eyes were closed, she could feel Ayasha’s gaze on her, and could no longer take that sensation. Krystal turned, and took a few steps, her tail hung limp and her fur sagged, heavy with an invisible weight that only the former Zanguzen could see, the weight of her past.

“Besides…” Krystal continued. She was still close enough to Ayasha to be heard, but in truth Krystal was talking to herself now more than her sister. “He probably doesn’t even think of me in that way, or think of me at all for that matter. I’m sure being Beta of Koran takes up all his time; I was surprised he even wanted to show me around his home. But I was so happy he did, Koran is so beautiful, and breathtaking. And… and the longer I spent time with Kai… the more I wanted to get to know him. He’s so humble, and kind, and shy, and handsome, I couldn’t stop looking into his golden eyes, I probably looked like some kind of stupid fan-girl to him or something.” Strangely, Krystal started to chuckle a bit. She was laughing at her own foolishness. “And to make matters worse… I splashed water on him on purpose, so now he probably thinks I’m a silly fan-girl who can’t fish. Splashing water… that was so stupid of me… I was so foolish…” Krystal’s giggling quickly faded, and silence once again filled the area around the two Ge-Radian sisters. “Why did I… even bother to think he could like me… I almost… forgot my place…” Krystal turned once more now, to face her sister, eyes opened to see her. “I love my family, my friends, and my home. I’d be selfish, if I asked for anything more, than I’ve all ready been given.”

[Ayasha]

The black femme of Ge-rad took a breath as she listened to her sister speak. Her auds were erect and her attention was brought to the front as she carefully picked apart what Krystal was saying. Both femmes had their rooted insecurities that had stemmed from their upbringings. Though the family situations had been different they both shared the same wish to be wanted. Luckily for Ayasha she had pups and a mate. Once Krystal had finished, Ayasha let the words slowly fall to the ground before she dare to spoke. It was clear to her that her sister needed her, needed her reassurance and needed her to rebuild her foundation of confidence and love for herself. This coming from a varg whom had never really had these things to begin with. "Krystal. Ayasha began, looking affectionately at her sister. "I know that the fates and gods have not looked particularly well upon our puphoods, but just because we have been tested does not mean we cannot pull ourselves up to what we need to be." She licked her maw and studied her sister for a moment, as if gauging her thoughts, mood and perhaps even next move. Their lives were very different and yet so startling similar that one might be led to believe they were almost the same varg separated into two images. “What Ge-rad needs you to be, what I need you to be falls far below what you need yourself to be. I think that you don't even know what you need yourself to be. She smiled kindly at her sister, letting her know that she was not attacking her, but simply stating things the way she viewed them. "I think as far as this mann goes, he would be foolish not to fall in love with you upon first sight. I'm sure he found you playful. I wouldn't worry about it. I wouldn't worry about anything else. Just focus on finding out who you need yourself to be."
Ayasha stood and shook out her coat. The glossy black color was beginning to return and replace the more faded out coat that she had sported when the pups had been conceived. Thinking of the pups, of Kaemon, it all made her smile. She was needed, and after all--wasn't that all that she wanted? She was never desired as a pup, never wanted. But now, now she was needed by so many. "When I found out that I was carrying pups, I was so afraid that I ran off. But by running off, I found out what I needed from myself. I couldn't remain that negative femme, always beating down on myself. I know it sounds stupid. But honestly, I came back because I knew, I knew what I needed and by knowing that I knew what others needed." She licked her sister’s muzzle gently and gazed at her. She knew that her sister must be thinking of everything she had just said. Yes, Ayasha admitted it was quite a lot to take in. To be told that you don’t even know what you need from yourself, but that clearly you are doing it incorrectly. She was somewhat curious about this new male in her sister’s life; that would have to wait till her sister was more aware of herself and her own needs. Not that Ayasha had been much better. She was somewhat ashamed to say that it took an accidental pup birth to bring her to her senses. Both she and Kaemon…but that was the past and what mattered was the here and now. Krystal, the strong and yet fragile varg that stood before her, needed her love and strength. Love was strong, and love was what Krystal, and Ge-rad for that matter, needed. Ayasha had to admit it, everyone in Ge-rad was afraid of one another. Truthfully they were fearful, fearful of upsetting some sort of balance that wasn’t even there. They pretended that it was. Ayasha herself had been afraid. Now though…now when they were supposed to be raising pups. “Krystal, I’ve been meaning to ask you something. Though truthfully I already know the answer..but I was wondering if you wanted to not only be the pups’ aunt, but would you also help raise them? I mean, be there for them? I want them to grow up in as much love as they can. Was it perhaps too ambitious, too soon to ask her sister of a task that would prove to be difficult at some times? But Ayasha didn’t want to leave room for any problem, or any repeat of her own situation. No, it would never come to that. She would do anything to stop that. Just like she would do anything to help her sister.