Post by Alice on Nov 26, 2008 13:22:40 GMT -5
//OOC: Gah... I'm rusty with Alice... sorry. By the way, this is my last post. This thread is really old. c: //
She nodded her head solemnly, thankful to the gods that at the moment Silverwren seemed to understand what she was saying and didn’t argue. Lately she'd been locked in her memories and chained to her thoughts, unable to go about her life like she'd used to. Because everything had changed for her, not for the better like she'd always hoped but for the worse. She'd lost everything that she valued in life: her parents, her ability to see, her best friends... till she was left with hardly anything left to love. Her sanctuary had disappeared without a trace. Every place she went in hopes of finding something cheerful crashed down on her with fear and pain. She couldn't go anywhere without remembering the painful words he'd said. She couldn't eat without remembering the meals they'd shared together. She couldn't sleep without seeing pictures of him in her head. He haunted her waking mind as well as her subconscious because he was a plague.
Looking away from her friend, Alice shivered, curling her thick raccoon-ringed tailed around her paws. It was useless, talking to someone, no matter how much that someone seemed to care. It always was. No one would help, because no one really knew what she was going through. No one knew how much she missed him, both of them in truth. How was she supposed to live through another day when the memories stung like angry hornets in her head? Needle-like stings, but enough to hurt, enough to stab deep. No matter how small, a cut could hurt and possibly kill. In her head, she could replay his voice as much as she wanted, but it only caused the pain to be worse. So how was she supposed to love again when everyone she did died? Was her love for them the plague? Was the fact that she loved them causing them to her hate her so?
It was all her fault. She was a disease. She was a walking disaster.
Turning back to her friend (though the move was unnecessary due to her blindness), she said in a slow and tired voice, "I know you will be. And I thank you, for caring about and being my friend. But talking isn't going to help." And she was thankful for her friend because without the help of Silverwren, she never would have thought about visiting her old home. Although she'd be walking to her death-- a blind wolf wandering the lands above Transylvania, searching for the snow, bah!-- she was willing to try. But she'd go alone, without causing the death of another in the process. That would hurt more than her own death. She was tired of her love ones passing away or disappearing and another would be too much. Rising to her paws, Alice stretched out her front legs then, using her nose, she nuzzled her friend's face. "I love you and I'll miss you, dear, but it's time for me to leave." With that, she turned her back on another she loved, leaving this life behind her as she went.
She nodded her head solemnly, thankful to the gods that at the moment Silverwren seemed to understand what she was saying and didn’t argue. Lately she'd been locked in her memories and chained to her thoughts, unable to go about her life like she'd used to. Because everything had changed for her, not for the better like she'd always hoped but for the worse. She'd lost everything that she valued in life: her parents, her ability to see, her best friends... till she was left with hardly anything left to love. Her sanctuary had disappeared without a trace. Every place she went in hopes of finding something cheerful crashed down on her with fear and pain. She couldn't go anywhere without remembering the painful words he'd said. She couldn't eat without remembering the meals they'd shared together. She couldn't sleep without seeing pictures of him in her head. He haunted her waking mind as well as her subconscious because he was a plague.
Looking away from her friend, Alice shivered, curling her thick raccoon-ringed tailed around her paws. It was useless, talking to someone, no matter how much that someone seemed to care. It always was. No one would help, because no one really knew what she was going through. No one knew how much she missed him, both of them in truth. How was she supposed to live through another day when the memories stung like angry hornets in her head? Needle-like stings, but enough to hurt, enough to stab deep. No matter how small, a cut could hurt and possibly kill. In her head, she could replay his voice as much as she wanted, but it only caused the pain to be worse. So how was she supposed to love again when everyone she did died? Was her love for them the plague? Was the fact that she loved them causing them to her hate her so?
It was all her fault. She was a disease. She was a walking disaster.
Turning back to her friend (though the move was unnecessary due to her blindness), she said in a slow and tired voice, "I know you will be. And I thank you, for caring about and being my friend. But talking isn't going to help." And she was thankful for her friend because without the help of Silverwren, she never would have thought about visiting her old home. Although she'd be walking to her death-- a blind wolf wandering the lands above Transylvania, searching for the snow, bah!-- she was willing to try. But she'd go alone, without causing the death of another in the process. That would hurt more than her own death. She was tired of her love ones passing away or disappearing and another would be too much. Rising to her paws, Alice stretched out her front legs then, using her nose, she nuzzled her friend's face. "I love you and I'll miss you, dear, but it's time for me to leave." With that, she turned her back on another she loved, leaving this life behind her as she went.