Chemical Dreamer(Draeg)

[Koan]

It seemed like so lnog since these lands had changed hands. Since a Kerl Dragga, searching for a safe haven for his pups, overthrew a black shade and stole the lands for his own. It seemed like so long ago that this same Kerl; now a Dragga, stood as his 'son' raged at him about the loss of one that he loved. It seemed like so very long since this 'son' had professed his love to the healer of the pack, before fading back into the darknessto search.

It was indeed too long. The dreams came and went, dreams of a better time, of better days, before his mate abandoned him, before the autnumn queen had faded to nothing, before the scarred sword had it's scars. But the dreams were merely that; reflections, perhaps, indeed, refractions of these past days. It was true, he was happier then, but in these dreams, the days were perfect, unmarred by any troubles or problems. It wasn't true, the rational, cynical part of him said, softly to the childish games that his dreams played on his heart, the aching wound that it had become. The rational part remembered the fear, the scars, the fights with Huts. It remembered the day she died. It remembered the day he had confronted his father with the knowlege that he was to be a father. It remembered the day he had abandoned his cubs. And it did remember the day when his mate left. But the dreams left no room for that; in the dreams, he was eternally small, trotting in fields with his father, romping about with Huts, chasing after Lydair in a dark night, with starred sky.

He opened his eyes, yawning slightly as the midafternoon sun snuck through the trees. Sadly, like all dreams, it had to end. He shook his scarred pelt and rose, stretching to greet the day. It felt strange to him at first, but recently, he had slept almost constantly, doing little else. He ate little, and seemed utterly listless. But to him, he was always living in the dream world. Truely, ti was more of a comfort then the lothing of his children, the disgust of his father, and the void where his mate should be.

[Draeg]

Draeg was having his own problems at the moment, his world having recently been turned upside down after a visit from the newly appointed Drappa of Dreogan. Nearly two days had past since the amber varg had discovered the somewhat crazed she-varg known as Demon wandering the fringes of Ge-Rad with the intent of forming an alliance with the meadowland pack, though the negotiation never had never come to pass as Draeg had come to learn that Demon had bore him a son shortly after their brief coupling within the privacy of the stone den nearly a year before. Naturally Draeg hadn’t believed it, believing it to be some kind of trick to convince him to agree to the alliance, and had denied her claims scornfully. However Demon had been ready for this, perhaps in light of what his reaction would be she had made the necessary preparations to prove her claim was credible and arranged for their alleged spawn to be present during the processions.

Then he had emerged. Damien.

Better known as Lestat to the amber varg.

The resemblance between them had been subtle but at the same time uncanny, the ebon warrior resembling his mother in practically every way save for his eyes which were a fiery amber which seemed to burn like twin suns amidst the sea of dark fur. Eyes that didn’t belong to Markaz, whom Demon had claimed to be his father on the night he was born, but rather eyes that belong to him. It hadn‘t taken Draeg long to realize that he had been staring into his eyes.

Since then the amber varg had been on the move, roaming aimlessly throughout all of Ge-Rad as he tried his best to come to terms with bomb that had been dropped on him. In that time he had hardly paused to rest and hadn’t eaten or drank anything, wrapped up in his own thoughts he scarcely knew where he was going. He knew that he would have to tell Cwen as well as Firefly, even if he could find a way to cover up his tracks and keep Damien’s existence a secret he had already kept enough secrets from his beloved mates and resolved to tell them both before another incident could occur. There would be hell to pay but that was unavoidable, better to face it like the Dragga everyone made him out to be then to try to keep a secret like he had attempted to do with Firefly and Cwen. His only fear was that neither femme would give him the opportunity to explain himself and leave him, Draeg knew he could never live with himself if either of them abandon him.

But how to tell them?

His nose twitched as it was flooded with the familiar scent of another varg, one that the currently high strung male hadn’t seen in a while. Koan. Taking a quick look around his surroundings Draeg quickly noticed that he had entered the sparse woodland and had unknowingly navigated his way through most of the dense vegetation only to find himself in the heart of the forest. Curiosity tugging at his mind he briefly wondered what his son had been up to lately, for the most part not having seen him since his return to Ge-Rad several moons prior.

A little voice in the back of Draeg’s mind told him that he should probably go have a talk with scarred warrior, knowing all to well the likely hood that Koan might need someone to talk to at the moment for whatever reason. Feeling the need to confide to somebody himself he began his search for Sword of Ge-Rad, ignoring pleas his protesting stomach which had suddenly begun demanding food as the first signs of hunger began to ebb away at his exhausted body. It wasn’t long till he caught sight of the gun gray varg stretching out amidst the undergrowth, the younger dragga having evidently just woken up only moments before. Letting out a sharp bark the amber varg signaled his presence. “Oye pup, been awhile. Got a moment?”

[Koan]

The silence in which the scarred wolf had awoken now was shattered by a bark. He started, responding by whirling about, tense and prepared to spring. His amber eyes flashed, and his muzzle curled back into a snarl before the voice and scent sank into his mind and registered. Draeg’s voice was as friendly and warm as the male remembered. It was strange how fast the notes that made up his father’s voice could change his entire mood. It was a warm, welcome medley of melancholy and nostalgia. It made him feel safe, even now that he realized that no one was infailable. It removed his stupid adult skeptisim, and allowed him to revert to his youth, even if just for a moment. Growling playfully and barking, he leapt towards the Dragga, all smiles for a moment, his own problems slipped away into nothing.
At the amber dragga’s question, the Broken Sword of Ge-rad nodded. “Of course I am. What good am I as a son if I can’t spare a moment for my father? What, you need me to sharpen my fangs in someone? Who do you want me to kill?” a grin creased his muzzle in jest. The young wolf had been called the Sword of Ge-rad once by his father; but if he were indeed a sword, he was indeed a broken one, damaged, battered, but still dangerous. As he sat, his mind still afloat with strange dreams and lost thoughts, he waited for his father’s reply.
Indeed though, could he still call Draeg father? Would the amber dragga still be able to look at him with pride? So much apathy had consumed the young wolf’s mind in the past few moons that he scarcely remembered how he had passed the days. Indeed, he had barely eaten or hunted, or communicated. Perhaps pack life was just not for him, although the wolf doubted it. He was almost full-grown, and perhaps soon he would fight the Beta wolf for his postion. Or perhaps not. It scarcely mattered.
But that terrified him. Not so long ago, it had infuriated him that he had been neglected by his father, passed over for the postion of Beta for a slimy, idiotic wolf named Shako. In his apathy though, he had forgotten even his rivalry. He flattened his ears, embarrassed, and waited for his alpha to speak.

[Draeg]

Chuckling at Koan’s reaction Draeg continued his advance on the gun metal warrior. A look of recognition passed through Koan’s eyes causing him to relax, snarl dying on his lips as he rushed forward to greet the elder male. “It’s good to see you too pup, is this how you greet all your packmates.” he chided gently, bumping his head affectionately against the battered brute. Having established themselves to one another the amber varg offered Koan a quick nuzzle, examining his scent and taking a moment to look his son over more thoroughly. As far as Draeg could tell everything seemed to be in order, other than being a little underweight Koan seemed to be fine. A light growl escaping his maw he backed away, satisfied with his examination. Letting out a slight chuckle at Koan’s response and shaking his head Draeg took a playful swipe at the scarred warrior. “No, it’s nothing like that though I may need you to protect me from your mother pretty soon.”

At this he sighed, ears drooping as visions of Damien and his brief coupling with Demon once again found their way into his thoughts. Draeg couldn’t help but wonder how Koan would react when he told him once he told him about Demon and the pup they had conceived, would he revert to the embittered state he had entered following the news of Cwen’s first litter? The amber wolf knew that it hadn’t been until after Koan had met Lydair that his son had come to look upon any of Draeg’s pups without scorn let alone accept them as his own siblings, would it be the same with Damien? Save for Huts Draeg had known Koan longer than any other varg within the Transylvanian boundaries, he had raised him since he was a pup and watched him grow up from the shy, timid youth he had been to the hardened warrior he was today. And while it was true that they might have drifted apart in the moons following Huts’ death Koan had always remained one of Draeg’s closest companions and trusted warriors.

Seating himself comfortably on his haunches the amber varg took a quick moment to rid himself of a particularly annoying itch that had settled between his neck and shoulders before turning to speak, raising his brow questioningly as he noticed the look of embarrassment that had settled upon Koan’s features while he had been contemplating his next move. “Something bothering you pup?”

[Koan]

"Hm?" The battered-steel wolf stared at his father with amber chip eyes, and then smiled. "Just wishing that I had some pride left." The wolf lifted his head, meeting his father's eyes for just a moment. "I don't anymore. Once...I was so much more of a firebrand. And once, before that, I was timid, shy, but strong. I wasn't a weak beast with hardly any desire to live." The scarred head lowered, and he left a slow sigh slip betwixt his lips, his muzzle cast downwards.
"I just find it harder and harder to get up every day. Some part of me screams 'Why bother? No one cares if you live or die. Your children are dead and your mate has left you. Your father has no need for you, and you are of no use to your pack. Just lay here, and let it all drift away.' " The gray wolf stared upwards now, into the warm light in the sky and the green canopy.

"I just don't know whats worth dieing for either. That's why I'm still alive."

[Draeg]

((lol, I know it's my turn but I'm a little behind with everything at the moment so you're going to have to give moment. I'll try to have my reply up as soon as possible though, alright -ruffles ears affectionatly-

[Draeg]

“I see.” The bronze dragga nipped his son, motioning for him to sit. “Time has a way of changing us Koan, its something we all go through at one point or another whether we want it to or not. One thing I have learned in my life is that no matter what change is inevitable.” he began, following his son’s gaze toward the canopy. “Neither of us are the same varg we once were, I never dreamed that I would be anything more then a simple Kerl or sire any children of my own but look at me now. I’m Dragga of a great pack with a beautiful mate and more children then I care to count.”

“I never expected my life to change from the way it was, but the from the moment I chose to raise you and Huts as my own it did. Don’t get me wrong there are some things that will never change, like me having to comfort you for example.” Draeg couldn’t help chuckling at this, raising a paw to ruffle Koan’s ears affectionately and recalling the first time he’d had to console the gray warrior after discovering him trying to sneak out into the night. “Yes you’re different from timid little pup you were when I first found you, but given what our lives have been like since then that’s to be expected. You grew up in an abusive family and I was cast out of mine, you lost a mate when Huts died just like I lost a daughter. Needless to say there have been times in our lives that we would rather forget then remember, but Koan remember that for everything we’ve lost in the past we’ve gained something. You’ve had your moments, your days in the sun, just like everyone else where you did things that you thought you couldn’t do, like courting Lydair and starting a family of your own. Sure looking at you now most varg may not know it, but you’ve had your moments.”

“Part of life is enduring the hardships that are thrown your way and seeing through the lies of despair. You don’t think anyone will care if you’re gone, well you’re wrong. I’ll care and so will the rest of your family and this pack, you are my son and the mate to a beautiful fae and father to three wonderful children. And while I can’t tell you what happened to Lydair, Koude, or Caiomhe I know for a fact that they are alive and that they love you dearly. I will always have need of you my broken sword, and for that matter so will Kaemon.”

(sorry for the wait)