I am barely breathing (Draeg,Krystal)

[Ayasha]

Ebon paws pressed lightly on the snow, leaving behind soft paw prints behind a swishing tasssel. Jade orbs rested on the trees above, leafless and life less looking. Much as she felt. Lifeless. Loveless, hopeless. This terra, snow covered and silent, felt so large compared to her. Even the Kerl land didn't daunt her this much. No, the kerl land might've seemed more welcoming than this place of her birth. It was possible that because so many memorys of this place were negative, and there were many places to escape the pain in the kerl land, but not here. Everything here caused her to ache inside. Everyone she had met thus far showed her kindess, but she still had her mother to face. After all she had done for this ungrateful little femme. How she had hated herself for being such a devil.

Letting out a whine from her sleek muzzle, the midnight fae continued her walk. She only had a few more paces left before she came to the break in the trees. She had asked Draeg, her suedo uncle, and Krystal, her sister, to meet her there so she could explain what had happened to cause her to return. Nothing here seemed familar to her, everything was foreign, not even Fenris' sweet rays could reach her under these trees. Only the darkness seemed to fill her body. No matter what, everything seemed to hurt her. The fact that she felt so out of place here. She had wanted to return, but she hadn't guessed that she would feel this way. He said he could protect me no matter what. But he couldn't have seen this pain, then. She paused before the clearing, a small ray of light shone down between the leaves. It seemed so welcoming.

Looking at the light for what seemd forever Ayasha rushed forward. Barking and chasing around the light. She laughed for a moment, a true laugh that started small and then grew. She chased round and round the clearing until she fell to the ground. The world spinning and spinning. As soon as the joy had came it was gone. Gone and leaving a hole in her. Her expression, jade orbs and up lifted auds became sad and flattened. She began to feel the pain welling up, creeping up her throat like Wolfbane crept up in the night.

"Draeg!" She called out, hoping that he would come soon to help her. She felt imobolized as the pain took over her body. Paralyzing her on the ground. The sun that had shone in was now gone, covered by clouds. Letting out a whine she closed her orbs, such pretty orbs that had once looked on someone with love were now hidden behind an inpenitrable wall of heartache. She felt helpless. A power she couldn't explain had seized her body. Only her cranium remained moveable. Even though her heart beat, she could not feel it. Follow me Ayasha. "No, I can't follow you." She whined, face scrunched up in pain. She called out once more to Draeg, but couldn't tell if any sound had escaped her maw. "Krystal!" She called, wondering if anyone could hear her, she felt so small beneath the trees, so small and forgotten.

[Krystal Zanguzen]

(Ayasha, can this take place maybe a few suns after the birth of Shako and Yelae's cubs?)

The forests of Ge-Rad lay thick with the trunks of redwoods, as if a bunch of naked splinters had sprouted from the ground and covered the terra in a perpetual maze. One could easily lose sight of their destination in such a place. A truthfully proven fact that was quickly becoming more apparent to the bi-colored Fae as each ebon paw passed slowly and smoothly on the ivory surface. Leaving a hardly visible track in her wake as Krystal cautiously traversed this last remaining mystery to which the warrior had yet to explore. Before Fenris could conclude his reign in the heavens, the bi-hued Ge-Radian sought to learn this last remnant of unfamiliar terra. Though the wolf god sat comfortably in his throne, his light did little to affect the darkness that enveloped Ge-Rad’s forest.

A sense of ominous silence was set firmly in the presence of every object Krystal’s pinto gaze could detect. It was as if no life existed in this bereavement forest. One would ponder over if Lera even took residence at all during the summer season. It was a kind of place the Zanguzen would feel very much at home in. Tactical advantages could be found everywhere, ripe and ready for the picking. The potential for ambush would have pleased the elders; it was no wonder that Krystal herself felt surprisingly comfortable in such a dismal environment. If the bi-hued Fae worked hard enough, she could memorize the lands like a photograph in her mind, and perhaps one day use those very same advantages, if the time to defend her new home ever arose. But for now, Krystal would be content with just being able to find her way out of the everlasting redwood maze, and back to her pack mates.

Upon coming around another of the thousands of trees that littered the forest, Krystal’s bi-hued optics caught the sight of something rather peculiar in the far distance. A beam of light in this eternal obscurity came to life. A gift from Fenris himself must have weaved through the mounds of tree branches and graced the ivory surface with its presence. Captivated by the display, Krystal took a moment to watch the anomalous radiance. It was another sign, undoubtedly proof that nothing could hinder the gods from achieving absolute supremacy for this world in which they created. With a tired sigh, Krystal decided to continue her exploration without any further delays. If she was to complete the goal in mind, the Fae would have to make her way quickly around the forest before the beam of light which had caught her interest faded from existence.

But Krystal’s attention would be taken again not by light, but by sound. For a ghostly echo now haunted the trees around the Ge-Radian. The voice was soft, distant, yet strangely feminine and somehow familiar. Ebon ears shot up in attentiveness as they tried to pick up on the sound. But the echo had since faded, leaving a rather bewildered Ge-Radian in its wake. The ebony and ivory Fae stood quietly and listened carefully, hoping to pick up the sound again. Her patience was paid off by another response from what seemed to be the trees speaking. Only this time, she had heard the speech. Which only left Krystal even more perplexed then she had been just seconds ago. “Draeg?” Krystal pondered. It almost now seemed as the land of Ge-Rad itself was calling out to its Dragga.

Silence once again blanketed the forest as it once had before, leaving the bi-colored warrior with nothing but her own thoughts for company. Krystal thought perhaps that she had spent too much time in this desolate forest, or that maybe she had just over worked herself, and now the trees mocked the tired Fae. But that conclusion would be utterly shattered. For the forest would speak a third time, only now it had decided to put a greater clarity into getting their message through. The voice was clearer then ever before, and Krystal instantly recognized the owner of the tone. There was no mistaken her pack sister’s voice now. “Ayasha…” Krystal spoke aloud, her own body and vocals filled with concerned as the name escaped her twilight maw. The Ge-Radian soon sprinted off in the direction of the call, kicking up snow behind her in the process. She found herself darting for Fenris’ beam of radiance. For it seemed now that the voice had hailed from that direction.

Krystal’s heart raced in her chest and pumped adrenalin though the Femora’s veins. Ebon paws made it seem that the Fae was gliding across the ivory terra rather then running. For each paw only for the briefest of moments touched the ivory powder before once again sending the bi-colored warrior forward. Something was terribly wrong with Ayasha, her pack sister to whom which Krystal found a very close attachment with. Each moment that passed brought more worry to the Fae’s sapphire and emerald optics. But at the same time she was brought closer and closer to Fenris’ brilliance. Soon the sight of a fallen ebon Varg came into view adjacent to the ray of light. Ayasha stirred slightly, as if she had lost the will to rise. Fear held a vice grip around Krystal’s heart as she quickly padded up beside her pack sister, whining softly in the process with her auds pinned to her cranium. “Ayasha what happened? What’s wrong?” Krystal spoke; her voice emitted an aura of concern and terror as she licked Ayasha’s maw and cranium in an attempt to somehow show that the ebon Fae wasn’t alone.

[Draeg]

By the time Draeg finally arrived Krystal was already busy tending to Ayasha, her face a mask of concern as she gently licked the younger fae’s head in an attempt to comfort her. Snow crunching beneath him he made his way closer, padding lethargically over to the pair and regarding them with the same cold, impassionate stare he had worn nearly a year ago after his youngest son had been killed by a lynx during a raid by a rival pack. No longer concerned with grooming his once luxurious pelt had grown wild and unkempt, he was slightly thinner and a pair of dark rings surrounded his now bloodshot eyes suggesting that the amber varg had neither eaten nor slept since the incident occurred. He looked older in his ragged state and his eyes were blank with pain as he stare down dispassionately at the two ebon femme. “Make it quick.” he growled bitterly, tone holding a slight edge to it. “There are matters that requires my immediate attention.”

((I'm so sorry for taking so long but school's kept me busy, I know this is short but my muse just up and dried up on me.))

[Ayasha]

Ayasha relieved that Krystal at least was there let out a sigh. She still felt paralyzed but slowly the feeling was leaving. She could feel her legs begin to warm again and she wanted to stand up and relieve the cold feeling. "Krystal, I'm........." She couldn't think of what to say. She wanted to tell her what was eating away at her.

Looking up she saw Draeg approach, the once handsome Dragga was now bordering on looking like a kerl who had never seen the affections of a grooming tongue, or a depressed varg who could not find the will. Much like her. But his tone, what he said caused the feeling of sadness in Ayasha to dwindle.Her uncle who had cared for her when she needed it, was now wanting nothing to do with anyone. She knew that he had lost Cwen, they all had. But she too had lost someone very dear to her.

"Make it fast?" Ayasha stared shocked. Getting to her feet she stood in front of Draeg. Not feeling like showing him respect when he wouldn't show her any emotion."Make it fast? Draeg, I know you are feeling the loss of Cwen!" She growled. She lost her words. Trying to think, tension building within her. "I am exactly where you are!"

"You had more time to share your life with Cwen, then I did with Ajax or Xenos! And you know what, he's gone! Killed himself." She was now yelling. "I need you right now Draeg, I need you to be the uncle you said you'd be." Her voice was quieter now. But she still was angry.

"You think that your life is over because you lost Cwen! I have no one to love anymore. No one!" She growled again. She had only shown this side of her before, to her mother. But never to her Dragga."You still have someone who loves you! It's not Firefly. No she's in this pack Draeg. You're not alone. I am! That's why I'm back. That's why I'm here. Because I lost somebody I loved, and I was hoping you could help. But you're too blind to see that you still have someone who loves you!" She stayed staring at Draeg.

(((tis okay)))

[Krystal Zanguzen]

Ayasha stirred as Krystal’s pink tongue gently lapped at the ebon fae’s forehead. Perhaps the situation wasn’t as bad as the bi-colored fae first though, for at least her pack sister was moving. Things could have been much worse, and for that a slight sigh of relief escaped her ebon maw. “Ayasha, you scared me almost into Tor’s meadow.” Krystal spoke words empty of spite and full of concern. “I thought… well never mind what I thought.” The Ge-Rad warrior said as she again passed several more licks to make certain that Ayasha was at least in good physical health. But her body was not what needed healing. For the damage that the ebon fae carried was far deeper then what any healer’s treatments could reach. The heart required more then the remedies of some herb and berries guru. And as Draeg now approached the scene, it would at first seem that she would get the right treatment from her esteemed uncle.

But such was not the case, as Krystal turned her gaze away from her pack sister to meet the form of her Dragga. At first, she could not believe her bi-hued eyes. The once regal image of a proud amber wolf was no where to be found. Replaced instead with this un-groomed detrimental looking Varg who looked as if he had up and chosen to live a poor existence of a life. It had actually been several suns since Krystal had seen Draeg. For she had heard that the Ge-Rad Dragga had confined himself to his den after the death of the Drappa, who Krystal herself had never met. But never in the bi-colored fae’s wildest dreams could she have imagined Draeg to look as he did now. Like a fallen mongrel who wandered the terra, looking for a place to keel over and accept deaths door. She remained flabbergasted, unable to utter a word at the appearance of her friend.

There was still yet another surprise in store for the fae’s. For not only had Draeg’s look changed, but his very personality which the Ge-Radian had come to love so much had eroded away from the depression the amber wolf suffered. Bitterness now seemed to fill his heart where love once stood, his words icier then the very winter which still held its grip on the Ge-Radian terra. Krystal’s own insides seemed to freeze over at his very lyrics. It was like a bad dream. How could someone as loving and caring as Draeg become such a cold emotionless soul so quickly? No longer was the warmth of his presence felt by the bi-hued fae, replaced instead with a bitter aura that made Krystal feel even sicker with each step closer the amber Dragga took. And while she had no words at the moment to convey to Draeg, Ayasha had found her paws to stand, her tongue to speak, and her heart to guide.

Her tone carried anger, sadness, rage, and many other emotions too difficult to interpret as Ayasha spoke her mind. Guided by her heart and the hardships that had befallen her, she spoke briefly of the pains that ripped apart the ebon fae from the inside. Krystal listened intently to her pack sister’s words, for she too could relate too the agony of loss loved ones, though not exactly the same, but loved ones nonetheless. A soft whine escaped her muzzle, as Ayasha spoke of how she needed the comfort of a family member, a loving uncle, in this time of great pain and sadness. Yet their Draeg stood, a Varg changed by the threads of time and trials of life. No longer the caring male she had met oh so long ago, it seemed now that that Varg had faded away into Tor’s meadow, replaced instead with what stood now before them. A great sadness filled Krystal’s own heart at the thought. For the friend her heart had carried feelings for seemed lost for all eternity.

Yet Krystal would remain strong, for herself and Ayasha. She wouldn’t allow her own devastated spirit to be viewed by this replacement of a male, deciding instead to blanket those emotions for now in the back of her mind. Turning her gaze away from Draeg, Krystal instead nuzzled her pack sister gently. How Krystal wished she could somehow absorb all the pain that Ayasha carried through her nuzzle, yet this was unrealistic thinking. Still anything at this point would help, at least she hoped. “He knows you love him Ayasha.” Krystal responded to her last few sentences. “And I’m sure Firefly loves him too.” Krystal finished under the assumption that the ebon fae had been referring to her self when she spoke of ‘someone who still loves you’. “I may not be your family by blood Ayasha, but I still care about you as if you were my sister of kin. So in a sense, you’ll always have family to care for you, even when others feel like you’re not worth their time.” Her last words were spoken harshly, as she referred to Draeg through her words and a glance of her bi-hued pools.

Turning her gaze now to face the amber Dragga, it was the first time in her life Krystal had ever looked upon his form with eyes of disillusionment and distaste. As if a once fine and elegant wine had suddenly gone sour from passing its expiration date. It was clear that at least at this current state, he could not provide love or the healing words that he was so gifted and known for. “The one who still loves you Draeg,” Krystal spoke, her tone a mix if disappointment and sadness as each lyric fell into place off her ebon maw. “Is Ayasha. Family love Draeg, I know it must be hard on you to lose Cwen, and I’m sorry you have to go through such a terrible pain. But are you so blinded by it that you can not see your own niece? She cares about you so much, and here when she needs you the most, all you can offer her is ice in the form of words.” A soft sigh escaped her muzzle. It was difficult for Krystal to find the words that ached in her heart. Words that wanted to be let lose on to the world so the burden of keeping the hidden could no longer weigh her down.

“That’s not the Draeg I remember.” Krystal continued after a brief silence. Lost in her own emotions, she spoke. “The Draeg I remember, cared so fondly for two cubs who were not his own. Cubs he could have just let die without knowing parental love. The Draeg I remember showed me the love of true friendship in a time when I thought no one would. I’m a Zanguzen; my family kills mercilessly their own kind with no regard for life except their own. It’s in my own blood to do so as well, yet you did not judge me for my family’s sins, and instead showed me unconditional friendship. I’m sure it’s that same love, which attracted Cwen to you. I’m sure she could see it too, and she and Firefly must have felt so lucky to have someone like you as their mate. It’s that same love that caused me too…” Krystal suddenly stood quiet, as the truth about her feelings now shown clearly in her mind. There was no mistaking it now, like so many fae before her; she had fallen for the amber Dragga, fallen for the love that once emanated from his soul like a luminous aura. But it seemed now that the Draeg she had loved was now gone.

“…It doesn’t matter.” Krystal spoke coldly after her pause. She shook her head a bit to try and clear those emotions out of her mind before speaking again. “You have more important matters to attend to right? Don’t worry about your niece Draeg; I’ll do my best to take care of her.” With that said, Krystal turned so that her back now faced the amber Varg. At this point, it was to difficult for her to see him any longer, and it was all she could do from not breaking into whimpers at what her dearest friend and secret love had become. Her eyes were held firmly shut, as if she were trying to conceal some truth that wished to escape through her bi-hued pools.

“Just go Draeg…”

[Draeg]

Upon hearing his cold words Ayasha stirred, staggering to her feet to meet the amber dragga and regarding him in shock. Beside her Krystal’s expression mirrored her companion’s, clearly surprised by their dragga’s bitter tone and lack of sympathy towards either of them. Any idiot could have predicted the chaos that ensued as both femme suddenly exploded into a series of enraged outcries, their words every bit as hurt and bitter as his had been. Through it all Draeg merely stood there as the ebon pair continued their hurt outburst, golden orbs regarding them with the same disinterest as before. A part of him knew that both fae were right and that he wasn’t alone in his grief, however the circumstances behind his mate’s death tore away at him like a festering wound that refused to heal. As if having his mate taken from him by the great Shapechanger himself wasn’t enough his battle with the damned had taken it’s toll on the amber varg. He had lost something that day, something important. A part of himself had died alongside Cwen that night, taken from him as swiftly as his mate’s dying breath leaving him numb to all but the pain of losing his beloved mate despite his niece‘s obvious distress. Anxious to conclude his business with both femme and resume his previous engagement Draeg found himself turning away from the fuming duo, retracing his footsteps as he began making his way back toward what had once acted as the whelping den for his second litter. With little more than a grunt he beckoned for them to follow, bushy tassel sweeping behind him in a somewhat awkward gesture. “Come with me. I want to show you something.”

Moving briskly through the thickening grove of pine and spruce the amber varg led them deeper into the depths of the snow ridden forest, ground crackling beneath him as large paws trampled the icy crust, sinking deep into the frozen terra. He moved swiftly despite his awkward gait, keeping a constant pace despite his injuries, only pausing to examine his surroundings and track their progress before setting out again. His trek eventually brought them to a rather reclusive spot, a clearing in the trees surrounded by the thin skeletal remnants of thistle and thorns. Pushing through the barbed branches Draeg padded through the legion of bracken until he came upon what he was looking for. Stopping before a small thicket in the center of the clearing he dipped his head within tangled web of brambles that hid his den, amber eyes flickering faintly in the darkness as he peered into the small burrow that had served as his home for the better part of the past year. The cavern was vacant save for a few telltale signs that proved anything ever inhabited the small dwelling, namely bits of moss and lichen which lay cluttered together with dried grass and leaves in a neat little pile. At its center, swathed in everything from feathers to strands of fur, lay the source of Draeg’s anxiety, a tiny shimmering ball of fur. The last and only survivor of what was supposed to be Cwen’s final brood. Retracting his head from the scorched vegetation and seating himself against the narrow cavity leading to his newborn offspring Draeg found himself turning to face Ayasha and Krystal once more, features softening somewhat now that he had checked up on the pup. For a moment Draeg merely lay there, gently pawing the ground until finally speaking. “This is where it happened, not even three feet from where we slept.” he began, barely speaking above a whisper. His expression taking on a far off look as he stared past both femme. “I had just woken up when I saw him, just standing there waiting for me. He taunted me, told me what he was planning to do and why. Through it all I just stood there, frozen, unable to move or call for help I froze. Cwen came, tried to drive him off. I couldn’t stop her. Everything happened so fast, I tried to save her but they stopped me. He killed her, mutilated her body, then left me alone to pick up the pieces.” Pausing for a moment he look back at them, his voice cracking as he focused his gaze on both fem again “It’s like everyone around me seems to vanish. Mayan and Cal are missing again, no one’s seen a trace of Lydair, Caiomhe, or Koude in moons, Koan insist on setting out on these pointless endeavors of his without telling anyone, I haven’t heard from any of the pups since they left Ge-Rad to live their own, and Huts died protecting her from Serg and giving us enough time to escape Sarnes...something that I should’ve been doing! I’m tired, tired of fighting, of waging this pointless war with Serg and his Night Hunters. But most of all I’m tired of having to watch everyone I love die because of me. How long before something happens to Firefly or any of you? Huts and Cwen are both dead because I wasn’t able to protect them, because I failed to due my duty as a good mate and guardian. When they both really needed me I couldn’t save them, so how do you expect me to help you when I couldn’t even help them?”

[Ayasha]

Still fuming from her anger Ayasha watched as Draeg just turned and looked away. Krystal as well hadn't caught on to what the ebony fae had meant. She knew that Krystal loved him, but Krystal hadn't known that was what Ayasha had meant

"No Krystal, I admit I love Draeg as family. But I am not the one in love with him." She looked to Krystal, did she know what she meant now? Did anyone seem to understand. " I am not okay, I don't know if I'll ever be okay. But Draeg can be." She watched as Krystal spoke.

After speaking Krystal turned from Draeg. Letting out a whine Ayasha felt the pain enclousing around her again. THe lonelieness that she couldn't rid herself of. Why should she care so much about letting Draeg know that someone else was in love with him. When she was drowning in this endless sea?

Her auds perked up when Draeg finally spoke. She didn't want to be angry with him. She wanted him to tell her that the pain would fade. But she could see, that that was untrue. Here he was, still fresh with the wounds of losing Cwen.

Ayasha followed Draeg, she kept slightly behind him, watching the trees as she passed through the terra. The bitter winter surrounded her. She could still see his face, feel his warm pelt about hers. She shuddered, keeping the pain from exploding within. They seemed to walk forever, everything now seemed forever. The nights lagged on for what seemed years. Ayasha hadn't slept much, although she still ate. Nothing could fill the hole. Nothing could replace her shattered heart.

They arrived at a den, after Draeg had peered inside Ayasha cautiously looked in. A small pup lie quietly within. Cwen's last pup. Ayasha staggered from the den, pain gripping her body like the darkness of night gripping the land. "Oh Draeg. I'm sorry."

"Draeg, Cal. He..." Ayasha didn't know what to say of her father. "Never mind him, you still have the rest of us. Draeg. I'm still here! Krystal is here. Shako, you still have family. You are the varg that has offered so much help to us. You helped comfort my mother when I was selfishly out on my own. You are the one I wanted to ask for help! Draeg, things happen that we can not stop. What happened to Cwen was one of those. Bad things happen and you can't do anything about that. But you can become the dragga you were and help protect the rest of your pack!" She was lost for what to say, drowning in all of this.

"Xenos killed himself, I could've stopped that! But I didn't. So I came here to you. Why?" She paused coming close enough to Draeg that her muzzle almost touched his. "I came here because I knew that you, my uncle, dragga, protector, I knew that you could help me because you have an unstoppable amount of love. You had two mates, you were able to treat them with the same respect. You could love them both. I came to you because I knew you could help, I knew that you would be able to help me." She turned to look at Krystal.

She looked back to Draeg. "Someone still loves you. Someone is in love with you and wants to share her heart with yours. But you have to decide what you are gonna do. I'm drowning in this world Draeg. I don't know what to do. I'm left with nothing. But you still have Firefly, and you still have someone else and it's not me." She padded away from both vargs. Sitting down in the cold snow. There was no warmth that could warm her. What do you do when the one varg you thought could help you wont?"I lost part of myself to Draeg, I feel empty inside. Everything seems pointless!" She cried.

"Draeg, I'm sorry. I truly am. But you're not alone. I don't know what else to say. Life goes on, love goes on. We all lose things." She turned away from both Krystal and Draeg. "Krystal, thanks for being my pack sister. But I'm not sure if I'll be around much." She sighed, still looking away from them. For now life didn't seem worth much. She supposed that she should try and comfort Draeg, but she couldn't be that selfless. She stood and leaned against a tree. It seemed the only support she had.

"Krystal, this pack will really get to love you. I hope you can meet my mom soon. But I don't know if I'll be around to see just how grateful Ge-rad is that you're here. Draeg will appreciate such a wonderful warrior." She couldn't understand the point of continuing this petty game of life. Turning to look back at them, her orbs conveyed pain, they were the only color left in her life.

Follow me Ayasha. Xenos's words were beginning to make sense. Perhaps it would be best if she followed him. It didn't seemed that she fit in here. She loved Ge-rad, loved her pack. But it just didn't seem right to live now. Ajax wouldn't want her to do this, no. But Ajax wasn't there to stop Xenos. She wasn't blaming him, she was blaming herself.

Her auds flattened against her head. "I'm sorry I bothered either of." She turned away from them, the bitter temperature os winter stabbing at her pelt like thousands of fangs. The light that she had once danced around seemed gone. Fenris didn't cast his light down upon one of his children. She was alone, never to feel the warmth of his light. Tor wouldn't shine down on her either, she doubted at least. How suitable it seemed, that like her heart, winter was cold and unforgiving. No, her heart had been shattered, but it wasn't unforgiving like it had been. It had met love, only to be dropped into the bitter darkness..

[Krystal Zanguzen]

Like an undaunted stone incapable of feeling emotion and suffering from the erosion of time, Draeg stood as if the amber Dragga was unhindered by the words of his pack mates. Was it the strength of a determined Dragga struggling to remain strong in the grip of such tragic times? Or a selfish figure who was unqualified to feel the difficulties that lingered amongst his fellow Ge-Radians? At this point in Krystal’s mind it didn’t matter. She had turned her ebon back to the Varg she felt so strongly for. The same male that had given her hope when the humans had come to claim her. For a year the bi-colored fae spent her days in the clutches of her human captives. Man’s cruel hand had taken its toll on the femora, for they had taken away so much that Krystal had struggled to obtain. A life of normalcy with a Varg who she could never confront about the secrets that lay deep within the layers of her heart. And there were many points throughout her captivity where the will to live on had left the twilight fae. Yet even during these lowest of points when it seemed like no light could pierce the darkness that engulfed the bi-hued fae, an amber radiance would shatter the void of emptiness that threatened to ensnare and claim Krystal. The faith of somehow beyond all hope reuniting with him kept her spirits lifted, and the day would come when she would escape the clutches of human hands.

Yet where was this Varg who had captured her heart? Sure he stood in front of the two fae’s physically, but it seemed that the kindness that had once found homage in Draeg’s form had vacated the facilities. Krystal knew little of the death of Cwen, and even less about the relationship the two had shared. So to the Ge-Radian warrior, it looked as if the absence of Draeg and his caring persona was just that. To simply not give a rat’s tail about his pack mates anymore, and concentrated on what ever focused on him. Certainly not the Draeg that Krystal remembered, certainly not the same male she had fallen in love with. Though saddened by the change, she tried her best to hide those emotions from both Ge-Radians. She had to be strong for Ayasha her pack sister, and if Draeg refused to lend his love to her, Krystal would willingly give hers to the ebon fae regardless. She knew that her own comfort could never replace that of her uncles, but hoped that it would help for Ayasha’s sake. It was that moment when the emerald eyed Ge-Radian decided to speak, clarifying on the true meaning of her earlier words. If wolves could blush, she certainly would be. Having remembered that the two fae’s had talked about Draeg while on the way to Ge-Rad, Ayasha must have put the pieces together in her mind about Krystal’s secrets. But was now of all times appropriate to speak about matters of the heart? Especially to a Varg Krystal knew she could never be with?

Thankfully Draeg could not see her ebon face since Krystal’s back was turned to the amber Dragga. Yet she could not hide her flabbergasted expression from Ayasha’s emerald pools. She had nailed the truth right out into the open for all to see. Yet Krystal forced her feelings away and into the shadows to which they once lay. For now, her focus was not on the hopelessness that was her heart’s desires. Rather she concerned herself with the well being of her pack sister. The bi-colored Ge-Radian wanted so desperately to purge the sadness that clung onto Ayasha’s form like a leech that sucked the very life out of its tired victim. Yet before she could do anything, the amber Dragga would speak, turning his own back to his pack mates as he spoke to them with the same emotionless tone as before. Beckoning for the two fae’s to follow in suit. Just what exactly was it that Draeg wanted to show? For a moment, Krystal watched too see what Ayasha would do. Upon deciding to follow her uncle, Krystal would too follow by Ayasha’s side. The two fae would travel through the silent forest of Ge-Rad behind the amber Dragga. All the while Krystal pondered over the thoughts that must have plagued Draeg’s mind. Certainly he heard Ayasha’s words, yet they seemed ineffective too the Ge-Radian Dragga as he led the two fae’s on a path that the bi-colored femora figured he must have taken hundreds of times. Despite it being very easy to lose your way in the labyrinth of Ge-Rad’s red woods, Draeg led on confidently towards his hidden den.

After managing their way through the bramble of veins that protected and concealed the location of the den, Ayasha and Krystal stood as Draeg made his way toward the entrance. There he stood, golden orbs focused on what had to be something. Otherwise what reason would there be for the amber Dragga to bring the two fae’s out to such a place? Ayasha had taken the initiative to peer into the confines of what lay inside, and her emerald orbs instantly fell somber. Her own lyrics expressing forgiveness that Krystal had seen flashed in the ebon Ge-Radian’s optics. Curious too, she soon followed suit and cautiously made her way to the den. Draeg’s scent came strong to her nasals as she neared. Yet there seemed to be a second scent mixed into the air. Her bi-hued optics would confirm her nostrils as they caught sight of a small ball of fluff lay hidden away in the darkness. She would watch as Draeg tended to the little newborn affectionately, making sure that all was well for the world around the tiny being. Satisfied, Draeg would return to the mouth of the den to face the two Ge-Radian warriors. It was at that moment that his features changed. The softened look of love and care that had left the amber Dragga had just as suddenly returned. Yet now he also carried a somber expression. Like his emotionless, heartless state, Krystal had never seen in the golden orbs of the once proud Dragga. Sitting on her own hunches, Krystal listened intently to the story that unfolded from Draeg’s amber maw.

A story of loss and hopelessness fell out of Draeg’s muzzle and spilled onto the ivory terra, threatening to turn the very ground indigo with his pained words that tore away at his very insides. The tale playing across Krystal’s minds eye like a projection, taking the bi-colored fae into the world of which the Dragga spoke. There she could see everything unfold before her. Closing her eyes tightly, she could no longer look at the amber Varg, taken totally by the feel of the story, lost in the pain that had taken hold of her life long friend. It was like a terrible nightmare that she couldn’t wake up from. Silence now filled the area as Draeg paused. Whining softly, Krystal forced the terrible images away from her mind. Pinto optics finding their way back to the amber Dragga, as he seemed to stare off into his own world, lost in the agony of his tale. But soon his golden gaze too would find their audience and the Dragga would continue on. So much loss and disappointment found lyrics to express themselves. Just how could one Varg bare so much loss deep inside his heart, and still find the strength to care and protect his pack to this point was astounding. Truly even Fenris and Tor themselves would find pride in knowing that this male was one of their children. Yet finally after taking so much anguish that life could throw, the death of his beloved mate was just too much. All the love that Draeg held had been sucked dry by life’s trials, and he found himself doubting in the very same ability to which he was come to known by, his ability to care endlessly for those he loved, and who loved him.

Krystal could truly feel the words of the amber Dragga as he spoke, and now felt terrible for yelling at him earlier. The pain that must have coursed through Draeg’s veins was a difficult thought to comprehend, one Krystal didn’t want to try and understand, for now she too recalled the pain of loss. Those memories that she had struggled to push back once again found a place in her mind. But Krystal would be brought back to reality as Ayasha spoke to her uncle. The ebon fae tried desperately to comfort her fallen Dragga with her soft words as she too spoke of her own afflictions of the heart. Draeg was not alone in the case of lost mates, for now Krystal would learn that Ayasha too had lost the love of her hearts desires. She was now within inches of the amber Dragga, her features expressing the ache of her tragedy better then her lyrics ever could. But that didn’t stop the ebon fae from continuing. And for the second time today, she would hint at a truth that if not understood before, was certainly brought to reality now. But could that same truth about Krystal’s heart be a factor in the sadness that took hold of her pack sister? It certainly seemed that way through Krystal’s bi-hued eyes. Perhaps Ayasha thought that the two Ge-Radians would one day understand each other, and find love with the other while Ayasha would be left just as she was now, without one to share her heart with. The very notion of that being true was enough to crush the heart that beat in Krystal’s chest. Just how was it that an emotion as wonderful and warm as love could bring such cold and sadness?

She watched silently as Ayasha exiled herself away from her pack mates. Now Krystal felt even worse then she had a moment ago. Guilt took hold of the bi-colored fae, now convinced that her secret love for the amber Dragga had some how played a role in the sufferings of her pack sister. And now the worse of it was to come, for Ayasha considered leaving the family to which she had found again. Torn between the two Varg’s in this life that she cared about the most, Krystal was at a loss, unsure of whom to go to in their hour of need. What about her own pains? Who would care to listen to the struggles that the bi-colored fae had experienced? Right now wasn’t the time to think of that. Right now, Ge-Rad needed the former Zanguzen. For this moment, Krystal would hide her own troubles. The ebony and ivory femora had to be strong. Turning her gaze momentarily at the amber Dragga, it was difficult to keep his gaze and she soon found herself looking away from his golden orbs. Draeg had to know the truth now. His intelligent mind must have placed all the pieces together. Why Krystal had journeyed so long and far to find Ge-Rad. Why she wanted to be around his side so much. It was all to embarrassing and the shame hung her ebon head low, almost to touch the ivory snow. “Draeg I…” Krystal couldn’t find the words. She wasn’t worthy of even looking upon his amber form. What a fool Draeg must think she was.

“I’m sorry…” Though Krystal felt the word ‘sorry’ was too little of an apology to give to Draeg, it was all the bi-colored fae could muster up. Once Ayasha finished, she turned her body and gaze to completely block out Krystal and Draeg. The same darkness that had tried to take hold of Krystal during her stay with the humans now hung over the ebon fae. Threatening to dampen her soul in a pit of eternal blackness to which Ayasha would soon drown in. But Krystal wouldn’t let that happen. She had all ready lost Draeg’s friendship, or was at least sure that the amber Dragga would never look at her the same way again. But perhaps the bi-colored Zanguzen could still do some good for Ge-Rad by bringing hope where none could be found. Leaving the amber males side, Krystal would soon be beside her pack sister. Weather Ayasha wanted the comfort or not, her own pink tongue gently lapped at her pack sister’s forehead. Like before, she wanted nothing more then to absorb and cleanse away all the burdens that weighed the ebon warrior down. “Please don’t go.” Krystal whispered to Ayasha so that only she could hear. Her voice was light and difficult to hear. As if her very own troubles tried to grab onto her lyrics so as to remain hidden and secret. But Krystal was determined to let the truth known to her pack sister. “You’re not alone Ayasha. Please don’t think that. I need you, and Draeg needs you too. Ge-Rad won’t be the same without you. Draeg needs all of us to be apart of his family.”

Krystal turned her gaze back on the amber Dragga who sat by his den. Deciding now would be the best time to speak to both to them. “When humans took me away from Draeg, I felt like I had lost the one thing that Tor and Fenris had given me after my parents were killed.” Krystal spoke as her gaze focused upwards toward the heavens. She was still unable to look at Draeg directly; for fear that he would look poorly at her. “And every night, I would want to just lie down and wither away. Life wasn’t worth living anymore. First my parents, and then Draeg… it was almost too much.” Sighing a bit, she paused momentarily before continuing, her orbs finding their way to the ivory snows, as if they too could listen to her tale. “And even though I was sure that he would forget about me, and find happiness with another, I still thought about him every night. And the thought that one day we’d be reunited again gave me hope to live on. But now that we are all here together, we need to love each other no matter what life throws at us. Fenris and Tor brought us together for a reason. To love one another as family should.” Finally, Krystal turned her head up so that her sapphire and emerald gaze could find the amber Dragga. “I’m sorry I yelled at you Draeg, I didn’t know any better, I hope you can forgive me.” Again she could no longer look at the amber Dragga and her gaze fell to the ivory snows. “I love you Draeg, and I’ll never leave you. So you don’t have to worry. We’ll always be a family no matter what comes along. We will protect and love each other. That is what you taught me, that is what Ge-Rad is all about.”

[Uskiya]

Uskiya padded among the trees in the Ge-radian forest. Since the death of Cwen Draeg had asked her to care for the small pup left behind. Still holding job as nurse as well as beta female Uskiya was more than glad to. She had been sleeping alongside the small pup when a call had awoken her. Not wanting to leave the pup for long she merely poked her head outside the den. The cold air had hit her face like a boulder. Deciding that the pup would need more warmth than she could provide. Giving the pup a lick on the forehead she ventured off to find some bramble or some sort of something.

As she was padding about looking for some sort of material to line the den mouth with she heard voices. Cocking her auds she recognized the voice to be her daughters! Startled to her her daughter's voice Uskiya listened for a moment. From what she could understand Ayasha was in pain. Uskiya felt the urge to run to her daughter, to bathe her in comfort. But she knew that Ayasha was older now. She couldn't always be around. Letting out a whine she tuned out the voices. She had to care for the pup. Draeg had told her that the pup was femme, her name was Sorcha. After being briefed about the situation Uskiya was more than happy to help out. After her pups had grown she missed taking care of them.

After gathering some soft pine needle Uskiya headed back to the den. She paused as she heard three voices, two she recognized but the third was foreign to her auds. Picking up her pace so she could reach the den before they did. But she heard Draeg's voice, somber, hurt. He explained to the two vargs about what had happened. The gray varg waited for a gap in the conversation for her to return to the den.

Padding from the trees the gray fae walked quietly into the group of vargs. She nodded to Draeg before ducking into the den. Dropping the needles she went to the pup, making sure all was well. Giving it a gentle lick the pup let out a murmur and rolled over. Eyes still shut tightly as it slept. Satisfied the pup was still allright, Uskiya emerged from the den. Shaking her coat out she took in the sight of the new varg. Mostly midnight like her daughter, only with white coloring on her underside.

"How are you doing Draeg?" She asked, although she knew the answer. He hadn't been the same since...well nothing to do about that. She looked to her daughter. She wanted to comfort her, but the two toned varg seemed to be doing that well enough. Letting out a sigh Uskiya felt almost estranged to her daughter. "Ayasha. It's nice to see you again." She didn't know what to say, it had been too long.

"I'm Uskiya." She greeted the new varg with a friendly wag of the tail and a nod of the head. "You must be the new member I've heard whispers of . Welcome to Ge-rad!" She smiled before turning back to the den and arranging the pine needles along the mouth of the den. Once finished with that she turned back to face the small gathering.

Although Uskiya had missed the bulk of the conversation, she knew by the awkward silences that the conversation had been serious. She felt somewhat bad for now being involved. Although she was taking care of the pup. Which was partially why it was hard to find her during most of the day. Her new duty as female beta had her doing rounds throughout the nap times of the pup and other times she was caring for her. Now her daughter was back and she wanted to catch up, but now wasn't the time.

"If you want, I don't need to be involved in this conversation. There are things I could be doing. If you'd rather I leave let me know." She knew better than to be involved where she was not needed. Being raised in a family that hated her and ridiculed her every move, she was sensitive to things like that.

(((thanks for letting me join)))

[Draeg]

His eyes still retaining their vacant expression Draeg continued his morbid vigil against the horizon, seemingly ignorant of both femme as they strode forth to examine the contents of the den. Blank gaze peering inside the den once more the amber varg cast another quick glance at the sleeping pup nestled inside, brow furrowing in concern as he noticed absence of Uskiya. Remembering how well the kindly fae had taken to her role as pack nurse upon first joining the meadowland pack Draeg had asked the newly appointed beta to assist him in nursing his newborn daughter, knowing that the pup wouldn’t last long without the nurturing, life-giving milk to sustain it.

Having been left to her own devices since the sudden and prolonged disappearance of her mate Uskiya had readily agreed to the amber Dragga’s request and had immediately relocated herself to be closer to the pup, in part to her own excitement through Draeg suspected the gray femme’s motives had been brought on more by her own loneliness and feelings of abandonment rather than her sense of duty. In either case Uskiya had proven herself to be an invaluable member of Ge-Rad as well as a competent pack nurse, up until now she had been the only one to even know of Sorcha’s existence. However her sudden absence irked Draeg whom had instructed the pack nurse to keep an watchful eye on his daughter during his absence. Not that Draeg could really berate her given that he had left Sorcha alone, albeit reluctantly, to tend to Ayasha’s summons but still the amber varg couldn’t help feeling a bit paranoid about leaving his daughter alone after what had befallen her mother.

His fears were somewhat eased as Uskiya arrived moments later, her delicate muzzle filled with pine needles as she emerged from the bracken. She approached the small group, making a beeline for the den before disappearing from sight altogether, sinking beneath the earth to deposit her precious cargo. Emerging only seconds after entering the small domicile Uskiya immediately seated herself among the group, greeting each varg in turn before addressing them as a whole. “I’ll live.” Draeg growled, almost bitterly. “And don’t worry, you’re not bothering anybody. Thank you for gathering more bedding for Sorcha, I trust she isn’t giving you too much trouble? By the way this is Krystal, our new recruit.”

His attention away from the conversation Draeg hardly registered Ayasha’s half-hearted attempt at comforting him. Part of him knew that she was right, that he wasn’t alone in his grief and that there were others there to help him get through the pain; but with Cwen’s death so fresh in his mind it was just too much for Draeg to move on and forget the pain. Looking back at the ebony fae he felt his ears droop as she went on to reveal the outcome of her journey which had resulted in her sudden return to Ge-Rad, elaborating on the significance he had played in her final decision and how she had expected the amber varg to help her through her own grief and heartache.

Following his niece as she distanced herself from both Krystal and the amber varg Draeg made his way over to where Ayasha lay, curling himself around her trembling form as he lay down beside the maturing fae and cradling her with his tail like he had shortly before she had departed from Ge-Rad to carve out her own path. “I’m sorry, you know I’ve always wanted what’s best for you Ayasha.” he growled softly, gently stroking the top of her brow with his tongue. “You shouldn’t have to be suffering what you’re going through right now. I’m so sorry that you had to go through that, especially at your age. But remember Ayasha, you’re not alone either. You still have your mother and the pack, maybe someday you’ll have a family of your own. I’ll always be here for you, even if it seems like I might not always be listening or that I don’t care, I do, and nothing will ever change that.”

Stroking her brow with his paw Draeg shifted his attention from Ayasha over to Krystal whom lay on the other side of the younger fae. The midnight warrior hadn’t uttered a word to Draeg since learning of Sorcha’s existence, she seemed embarrassed about something and held her head close to the ground as though ashamed of herself for snapping at him. When she finally did speak Draeg noticed that while Krystal would occasionally glance up at him from time to time the bi-colored she-wolf would never allow herself to meet his gaze. Not quite sure what to expect from Krystal Draeg felt his ears sag further as he listen to her depressing lament, revealing the truth behind her expulsion from the Zanguzen clan and her sudden disappearance all those years ago. Draeg had always wondered what had become of the midnight fae but had never really given any consideration to the thought that Krystal might have been captured and caged in the same manner both he and his own son had, had he known Draeg might have attempted to free her from her captors rather then leave her in captivity.

His gaze centered squarely on the former Zanguzen the amber Dragga found himself slightly taken aback by her abrupt display of affection, sure he had known about Krystal’s infatuation with him for a while now however Draeg had chosen not to mention anything in order to spare Krystal’s feelings. While he had indeed once felt similar feelings towards the black and white femora Draeg had moved on long ago and laid those feelings to rest out of respect for his relationship with Cwen and Firefly, and while not entirely ignorant of Krystal’s feelings for him the amber varg had never expected her to voice her affections for him in private least of all in front of Ayasha. In short Krystal had placed him in a rather awkward position. Sighing he found himself looking back toward the den to check on Sorcha, all the while wondering how the hell was he supposed to get out of this one? He couldn’t let Krystal get involved with him, despite her frequent absences Draeg still loved Firefly and didn’t want to betray her again by taking on another mate. The amber varg had already betrayed the tan hybrid’s trust before and he was in no mood to do so again, not when she was all he had left. And for him to even consider taking on a new mate only days after Cwen’s death, how would that be honoring the silver Drappa’s memory? Krystal was and would forever be a friend, nothing more, anything else he felt for her would have to be suppressed for the sake of his mate.

Rising to his feet and casting her a weak look Draeg lowered his head and gave her muzzle a sympathic brush, amber orbs meeting blue-green ones as he locked gazes with the dark fae. “I’m sorry, but you can’t get involved with me.”

[Ayasha]

Ayasha closed her lids, hiding the once vivid emerald orbs that had laughed at the world. She heard the padding of paws and opened her orbs breifly. She watched as a familar gray form dissapeared down into the den and then moments later dissapear. Guilt seized hold of her body. Mother. She thought as the loving face of Uskiya reappeared from within the den. She turned to Krystal who had never met her mother. Everything seemed to be happening so fast.

A few words were uttered between Draeg and Uskiya who then greeted Krystal. Ayasha watched in silence. Draeg approached Ayasha, curling around her like he had done so many times. How could she be so selfish? After Draeg spoke loving words to the ebony pelted femme, she felt like she had when she had originally inhabitated the pack. "Draeg I'm sorry. I...I just was alone and I didn't know what to do and you had been so much help before and here I was not even thinking about what you had gone through." Words just poured from her maw as worry took hold of her. She was acting just like she had before. Krystal then spoke of what had seperated her from Draeg in the beginning. Ayasha acting like only she had problems in the world felt terrible.

Once both Draeg and Krystal had conforted her Ayasha let out a sigh. "I'm not going anywhere Krystal. It would be selfish of me to run away once again." She sighed but soon fell silent as Draeg turned to Krystal. The awckward moment had come. Watching in slience Ayasha knew that there were only two outcomes. One of which would be somewhat unpleasant.

Draeg spoke the truth. It would be unfair to Firefly if he took on another mate. Ayasha gave Krystal a ' I'm sorry look'. Though she knew that it probably wouldn't help. This had come on partially because the ebon femme had heard Krystal speak of her feelings for Draeg before. Now that it was over she couldn't help but feel guilty.

"Quite the reunion." She gave a small laugh, hoping to maybe brighten the situation. Ayasha padded over to Draeg and gently nudged him with her muzzle. "You still owe that fight." She grinned, hoping that he would remember the play fight they had had before she had left Ge-rad for the first time. "However I was hoping that Krystal would help teach me." She turned to Krystal and gave her a wink. She knew that it would be a while before anyone would be back to normal. If that was such a thing. Krystal still had to meet the rest of the pack, and Draeg would need to be able to move on from Cwen's death. The whole pack would have to heal. Although Yelae had given birth to a lovely litter, and Draeg still had a pup.

Walking over to her mother she nuzzled and licked the gray fae. "I missed you." She sat back on her haunches, trying to think what it would be like when Ge-rad was back on it's feet. "Draeg, I'm sorry you lost Cwen. I know that nothing I say will really help, but I truly am sorry. And I should've thought about that before I drowned you in my own problems. You're right, I too do have loved ones here. And I hope that Krystal will be able to say the same soon. She does have me!" She gave a cheerful bark, hoping that perhaps the four vargs could pull themselves out of this gloomy moment. She was tired of always being either sad or hateful. She was a part of Ge-rad once again. She was going to start acting like it. Though right now any hope of a Ge-rad once happy and tigh knit seemed far away. The pack had been so seperated lately that things seemed lost.

Ayasha shook out her coat, stealing a glance back into the den at the pup. How nice it would be to have a family. Family. The word seemed strange, she hadn't been much of a member of the Ge-rad family lately. That would change though, she would prove to be a strong member. She would show that the femme of months ago she was a knew selfless varg. "Draeg, if there is anything I can do, not just for you but for the pack. I'll go on night rounds around the terra, and I can patrol at dawn." She rattled off again, wanting to begin her new life as soon as she could. She knew she was only warrior, but the lack of vargs at any time was enough that she felt she should try and do as much as she could. Especially since there was a pup involved, three newly born pups.

[Ayasha]

Due to hetic schedules and lack of activity in this thread, I have ofically closed this thread, thanks for all who posted.