Forgiving on looks? (Guys vs Girls)

[Krystal Zanguzen]

To bring life back into the debate room, I'm going bring up a new issue every Monday for everyone to talk about if they so wish too. This week, our topic will be.....

Who would you say is more forgiving when it comes to looks, Guys or Girls?

When checking out a guy/girl, how important is physical attraction when it comes too looking for a potential partner? Are guys more forgiving on looks if an ugly girl has an attractive personality? Or does it work the other way around, making girls the more forgiving ones when it comes to how attractive a guy needs to be? Or do you believe that physical attraction plays the biggest role when it comes too finding a potential partner? Or perhaps you think physical attraction plays no role at all. Post your thoughts here and discuss your views on the subject, and even feel free to express your own experiences.

[Formaldehyde]

Gah, after voting I realized I should've picked both. Both genders can be absolutely malicious when it comes to looks, then again, I suppose some people would also argue that looks don't matter and be sincere about it. From what I've seen though, people think looks do matter. I mean really, how often to you see a fabulous looking guy with what could be considered an 'ugly' girl? I've never seen that. I wouldn't say that physical attraction plays no part; different attributes are considered attractive to different people. This being true then, wouldn't it also be true that there is someone out there for everyone? I think that statement is a bit optimistic, but eh, maybe I'm just jealous. I've got enough obsessions to know that looks play some sort of role, then again, some sort of talent and a whole lot of personality helps to complete the picture.

[Fenris]

you're in a bar, you see a guy across the room, now you either think, ooh he's nice, or you don't notice him at all. at this point you'd have not a damned clue about personality. you're just attracted to them because of their looks.

however, sometimes you've got to know a guy and you realise you're attracted to him, and sometimes you don't give a damn about looks. maybe thats a friend, or maybe it's someone online (with the ever popular online dating things) and you're attracted to their personality, and if you're not shallow, you won't give a toss about their looks.

me? i'm not too fussy when it comes to how a guy looks. but they can't be utterly repulsive, because at the end of the day there has to be something there and i have to feel attracted to them. but i'm not bothered if they're a grade-A hottie or not. =P
if he's not utterly repulsive, i only really care for one thing - sense of humour. gotta gotta be able to make me laugh. once i was with this guy, complete fittie, like, totally droolworthy. but he couldn't make me laugh.. *shrugs* oh yeah, and he was too nice. =P i dont do guys who are too nice. they have to have a streak of rebel. =P

now i have to hop skip and jump along to the evil place of chavs. if i do not return, its cause i snapped back at them, and was then beaten to a pulp.
i thank you please.

[okamiwolf]

I say both, but mostly because I really don't know how guys see girls. There are the stereo types of men being in things only for sex, but since I've dated guys with nearly zero sex drive, I don't find this to be true. Plus I also do not find myself attractive in looks and support the fact that they like my personality. (But I am biased on how I view myself so again, I do not know.)

As for girls, I don't know about others than myself, but I do not look only for attractive guys. It's nice to date someone who is cute, but I have a different perception on what is good looking that is thought to be ugly by a lot of my friends. I tend to date guys who I know fairly well - and seem to fall for any guy friend of mine rather easily - thus I think of their personality more. And if they're cute, hey, look it's a plus!

I do think that physical attraction plays apart in relationships though. As humans we are naturally vain, and we don't want to be seen out and about with someone who we aren't proud of in their looks. We like to think that we look ' cute' together with our partner, not that it's the beauty and the beast concept of dating. But again, I'm going off my own opinions.

Of course, like Hyde said, there's a lot of really shallow and selfish people out there just looking for a 'trophy' or 'toy' that'll go nicely where ever they go. These people I call uber attention whores, and they are, for the most part, self center duck wads that no body likes. But like Hyde, I've also never seen an amazingly attractive guy dating a plain girl. Why? I believe it's due to the fact that they were raised to be that way. Maybe an example set by their parents. I mean, my mother told me all my life - and still does - that looks don't matter. Maybe the people who are amazingly hot and sexy and attractive have parents that are so proud of that, that they reinforce that beauty and plant it in their child's head that s/he should only date people on a high attractive level.

Thus the plain best girl/guy friend who has a secret love for the beautiful boy/girl goes unnoticed, uncared for, and completely missed. No matter how sweet, nice, funny - or whatever other good personality traits there are out there... just plain rejected.

But both sexes can be just as harsh as they are sincere.
And that would be my argument on the subject.

[aaliyah]

I'd defiantly say that guys are most forgiving because knowing us girls, we only judge on the looks of the guys, not anything else!

i think i got that right anyway......

[Formaldehyde]

aaliyah said:

I'd defiantly say that guys are most forgiving because knowing us girls, we only judge on the looks of the guys, not anything else!

i think i got that right anyway......

Did you read anything else that anyone above said? There's more important than just looks, deary. Unless you happen to be one of the pretty, popular ones.

[Ayasha]

Hrmm, well I think that for the most part I'd say both. There are of course those who are malicious and such. But a lot of the time for me at least if I see a guy who looks attractive then I'm interested, but if he turns out to have a bad personality then forget it. there needs to be a physical attraction of some sort, but personality is important as well. Fort instance I met this really hot guy, and I was attracted but then I got to know his personality and it was a definate turn off, he was a jerk. However I also have a friend who has, in my opinion, an unatractive boyfriend, but he is really wonderful to her. So if the guy has no personality then it wont work. But just because I see a guy who isn't all that good looking doesn't mean I'm not attracted. Looks eventually fade but a personality stays. I've rambled enough

[Captain Z]

Yeah, I'm with fallen angel.
I'm pretty sure on the very first impression where a girl sees a guy, the girl wont even bother making an effort talking to guy or making a move on the guy. which is why guys have to be the first to do everything
nah just kidding
but i really still think guys are the most forgiving. girls need to stop acting like they run the show too

[Skyla]

I think it pretty much depends on what kind of person you are. Some guys judge mainly on looks, just as some girls do the same. In my experience, guys seem to find it harder to draw a line between friendship and a relationship. Girls seem to be better at just being friends with a guy, without expecting it to go any further...

Though my opinion is probably heavily biased by the kinds of guys I know ^_^. While me and my mates are perfectly happy being friends with them, they seem to always expect something else... or most of them do, anyway. I'm still going to say both, though.

[Channon]

I chose both. Both genders can be forgiving on looks. I dislike how I look, but apparently a few guys find me attractive. To a certain extent, looks in a relationship matter to me, just a preference thing. Although, some people may find a difference in liking a certain appearance than others. Especially in the teenage world, boys and girls can be harsh when it comes to appearances. Although, there are always those who don't care or who accept you for who you are. I prefer personality over appearance. I have to get along with someone chemically, so to speak, regardless of their looks.

[Captain Z]

hmm i think for the more fun, both shouldnt have been an option. less sitting on the fence that way

nothing is more annoying then that whole 'hard to get' thing the girls do. dont even lie. you ALL do it. in one way or anotherr.

[Krystal Zanguzen]

I like the way this went, not bad for my first issue. And to everyone who participated, much thanks for making my debate a nice success. ^^ In about an hour I will put up the next debate so be on the look out ^_^ What topic could I possibly bring up this time? O.O

My Input: In my experience, guys seem to judge harder on looks. The guy friends I know wouldn't look twice at a girl who is overweight, or considered unattractive by some other means. Despite if the girl has a wonderful personality that makes her a very good girlfriend potential. I have a friend who is....well let's say a bit on the heavy side, who is the sweetest person you could ever meet but none of my friends are interested in her just cause of looks. Some girls have this issue too. Which leads me to have this hypothesis on the subject.

MOST Guys/Girls who know they look good, expect and only go for what they believe are good looking guys/girls. A good looking guy wants a good looking girl, and visa versa. People who tend to think of themselves as average at best, are more open minded to physical attraction and don't set such a high standard for themselves in the looks department when checking someone out.

Also, how often or how easy it is for someone to get into a relationship, often affects how much they value the person they are with. For example, if a guy has a high succession rate of getting into a relationship with nearly any girl he wants, the chances are higher that he'll probably not value the girl or relationship as much as a guy who relationships come difficult for him. Thus that guy will value the girl and relationship more because of the difficulty in reaching the end result.

My opinions in no way mean that this is fact and is "Set in Stone". It's just my opinion on the subject based on my experiences.