In Memories Only

[Midian]

"This place is dead," he said softly as he crawled out of an abandoned hole into the bright mid-morning sunshine. The wintry landscape hurt his eyes and its emptiness drained his spirits, but the white wonderland was more comforting to the young wolf than the dark, earthy den - the den in which he'd been raised. For the third time that morning, Midian wondered why he bothered to come to Ge-Rad back at all. Was it a sense of nostalgia? Was it the desire to visit his sisters and mother - to see them prospering? If it was, his journey would surely end in heartbreak. The great lands of Ge-Rad were eerily quiet and one could almost assume that the pack had been disbanded. His family was only in his memories - broken fragments of his mother and grandmother, of his sisters, of his friends, and of his father. Ge-Rad was now a simple relic, surely to be forgotten as time marched steadily on.

Midian sighed, and his breath curled away on the chilly winter wind. There was a taste of spring to it - young and fresh, but only fleeting, with no distinction. It may not even be there at all. Sadly, Midian realized there would be no spring for Ge-Rad this year. No new lives to celebrate, no hunting songs, no patriotic speeches. Not if the pack was gone.

The big golden wolf cast his steely eyes toward the forest. He wondered how many songs Ge-Rad had sung to those ancient, majestic trees. 'Too many, or not enough? Will the forest remember us? Will the woods tell stories about my friends and family? Will the earth remember the blood we spilled and the trails we made?...' He closed his eyes and shook his head. These thoughts we more nostalgic than usual, and made him feel like some sort of wistful seer longing for a departed past. He trotted quickly away from the den into the woods on masterfully silent paws. 'Why do I even care? I got the whole future ahead of me. What they've left behind can be rebuilt. It can be made again. Or made again somewhere else. The world is a big place.' He snorted determinedly. He was descended from greatness, was he not? There was strength in him from ancestors long past - both dogs and wolves; he had the innate ability to overcome.

But he looked over his shoulder at the dark, ugly shadow of the den, and stood still. He would never forget his family, and he would not dishonor them by trying. Nevertheless, it was the future he envisioned as he looked back at the den. A future full of life and spirit, of hearty songs and warm winter nights. He would meet up again with Locke and Tarkov at the border, and together they would build their future. But before he left, he would sing at least one last song to those ancient trees. A song to remember him by. He lifted his glittering jaws toward the soft, gray sky and cried a simple melody to the still and quiet wood.

[▪ Talar ▪]

(I hope you don't mind me joining)


The dead trees of the cold crisp air swayed in a swift breeze, and not even a bud arose from the endings to bind new leaves. A femme wolf looked up to a close tree, a large one indeed. It much resembled Ge-Rad itself, a late awakening, but not just late, who knows if Ge-Rad will ever become an actual pack again. For she had never heard much from her Alphas, and the only close friendships she had were Uskiya and Ayasha, then many others from different packs. This was it, Ge-Rad was still in a long hibernation, and many of the varg of this land have been scounting their interests outside of the boarder looking for comphany, but no, their home and love is here in Ge-Rad. Talar would do anything to let the pack know that. She just wanted a sign, because others felt it too. The deadness of the lands.

The flesh-colored fae walked into the entrance of the den area. It once used to be filled with life, like when she first was accepted here in the late summer. Many would be pacing, playing with pups, bringing in freash kill, but no. They were all gone. And the only sound she heard was a squirrel chattering up a tree and then another. A howl rose up, it was a sweet and lonley melody, but was lacking the fullness of an adult. She walking further into the clearing to see a yearling singing abroad up to the sky. And for a moment, hearing this song right next to her, Talar felt tempted to join in. But this song was a different message, and maybe a goodbye howl. Something Talar wouldn't ever think of doings. So quietly she sat and in the end spoke, "....So..You're leaving us too?" Her voice was a little husky as if she hadn't talked in a while, but it wasn't accusing. she looked the young one over and rethought her mind, "You're young. I geuss you need you adventures to find your place, eh?" She said, but her voice was still sad and doubtful. She really couldn't think of Ge-Rad without any pups, but at least there would be the other ones... right? she thought, and wispered a blessing in need for new life.

I once thought could run away and start my own pack with friends, but we faught too much, we all wanted to be better than the other. And in the end one joined Deor, two joined Koran, and then I joined Ge-Rad. And now all of us had lost our once great friendship, and we are fools because of that. She was about to say, but thought it instead not wanting to be a debbie-downer. And really, she didn't even know what this young wolf planned to do, she didn't want to assume anything and be wrong for it. But it was a good geuss

[Ayasha]

The emptiness was brutal. The silence and the cold were brutal. But brutal, something not just any varg could withstand, was something Ayasha had grown up with. Her sides heaved heavily as she drug the deer carcass towards the clearing just beyond the dens. None would join her in this feast. At least none she could see. Raising her head she dropped the carcass to the ground with a frozen thud. The winter hadn't been kind. Despite the lonelieness, the black femme had managed to remain healthy and sleek. The only give aways to the desolate and bleak situation of Ge-rad were her eyes. They were still that remarkably vibrant emerald color, but there was pain evident in them. Vargs were meant to live in packs. Without a pack, a varg is simply a wandering fool.

Ayasha sat down on her haunches and groomed herself while she debated what to do with the carcass. She wasn't hungry, but rather she had taken the opportunity to secure a future meal. "Ge-rad, I've brought you food. If only you were here to enjoy it." She almost jumped at the sound of her own voice. The contrast it had brought against the silence had startled her. Though that was not the only thing to startle her. Against the noiseless background rose a howl that rang sadly familiar. At first the black femme thought she was imagining it. She shook her head, It can't be, she thought. But as the howl persisted, she found she could only grow more certain of it. "Midian? Midian!" Her own voice rose above the trees and called out to her pup still lingering in Ge-rad. Her tassel began to wag furiously and she emitted a few short whines. Leaping from one paw to the other as she scanned the forest for her son. "Midian, I have food! You must be hungry, please don't be a figment. Please don't only be a memory." She almost whispered the last part. Afraid that maybe she was loosing her mind in this solitude.

She scented the wind eagerly and caught the smell of Talar. Was it possible that Ge-rad was slowly returning? "Talar! Talar come and eat. I have food, food for both of you!" She called out again, barely able to contain her excitement and relief. She would not have to go another night alone. If only her mother were here. Her mother had promised she'd be back. She had gone in search of Draeg and Kaemon. Promising to return with good news. Ayasha wished her mother had good news now.

[Midian]

(of course I don't mind! ^^)

When he sang his last note, when he finally let his voice drift peacefully into the quiet void and slowly dropped his muzzle, his call was not greeted by silence, as he imagined it would, but by another voice. It almost sounded dusty and misused, but it wasn't angry or accusing. It was distinctly feminine, slightly older, and quite unfamiliar. As Midian turned to regard her, he wondered if she had joined the pack sometime after he'd left it. Perhaps not, but he didn't remember her. Was it the forgetfulness of the Lera, or had they never been properly introduced? He realized, even before she finished, that it did not matter. Here they were together now, and he would get to know her. So he smiled gently, peacefully, and shrugged so fluidly and easily that he moved like golden water. "It's hard to leave the place you've grown up in," he replied, dipping his head and averting his eyes respectfully. Nevertheless, he was not hindered in admiring her simple beauty. Her soft hazel fur accentuated her tall, slender figure, and elegantly featured her intelligent blue eyes. He was curious of the thin, vertical lines across her cheek -- were they scars or birthmarks? -- but his study was interrupted by a third voice.

'Is it really...?' His ears cocked forward sharply and he lifted his great head expectantly. He had hoped to hear her voice more than anything in the world. After all, it was for her that he had come back. His mother -- his sweet, strong, dutiful mother -- he felt so guilty for leaving her, and yet so happy to hear her calling his name. Her eager whines tore his heart, and, with a wink and an invitational gesture to Talar, he jumped expertly toward the sound of her voice. His pawsteps were light and quick, executed with perfect, practiced precision and ghostly silence; he'd practiced the art of stealth so often and so hard since he was a cub that it was simply part of him now. He came into his mother's clearing as quiet as a whisper across the snow.

But his ensuing answer was nothing short of explosive. He whined as he nuzzled her fondly, exuberantly, as if he was a little cub again. His ears were pinned back to his head, and his tail beat furiously as he greeted her. "I am no figment Mother! I am here; I am real. Oh please forgive me for leaving! I'm so sorry." He licked her cheek fondly as he finally pulled away, and when he regained control of himself, he looked her over as any good son would do, making sure she was still healthy, still strong, and still the beautiful mother he'd always known. He was not surprised that she was still fit, still strong and slender, with the same rich black coat he'd always known. He could not picture his mother otherwise -- sick or worn away; but he was a little sad when he looked into her sharp green eyes and saw the weariness rooted there. Was it his absence or the loss of the pack that hurt her most? He looked away.

To the deer. With a passing glance at Talar, he grinned like a young boy and said, teasingly, "Mother may be the best huntress I know, but I think its only because she convinces the deer to lay down for her."

[▪ Talar ▪]

"Yes." Talar agreed, her teal eyes going back in wonder, her Ukrainian homeland far beyond the forest. The dangers, the mountains, and the fighting, the humans. It's hard to leave, but even easier to stay away from. Her mind teased, and for a moment there was just silence. She could feel his gaze studying her, and in response she grazed her eyes across his thick coat, and how the odd contrast of colors seemed so natural on his figure. She examined that the young mann here had the same image of a familiar pack member, but she couldn't place it. He looked almost familiar, but he was young, so she wouldn't doubt her was Ge-Radian born, because many were. He looked strong and noble, and yet she didn't know him, it made her mind want to ask questions. She hadn't talked to someone for so long, that was all she really longed for.

Then she heard a name, unfamiliar, but it was someone calling, but who? She found this out on the mann's expressions. And that's how she figured out what his name was, Midian. She remembered, and then in moments hearing her own name. At first she was confused, but when she smelt her good friend Ayasha and heard the word food. She got really excited. She turned to see Ayasha, and smiled running up to her just behind Midian whom she immediately guessed was her son. Talar remembered hunting for him when times were bad last Autumn. She waited a while for the mother-son reunion to gradually end, and she took a step to Ayasha and rubbed her fur briefly against her friend, "Ayasha! It's so glad to see someone finally bringing food into this dead, hallow camp!"

"Mother may be the best huntress I know, but I think its only because she convinces the deer to lay down for her."

Talar laughed, "Yes I know! Last time I went hunting with her, I could barley keep up with the deer we were chasing!" Then she smiled solemnly, "Uskiya and I probably couldn't have taken it down without her," She recalled in her mind Ayasha's title as hunter. And Talar felt useless. She wasn't given a title at all, and was accepted into Ge-Rad when in was just scattering away. She was as good as a kerl let to be on this land. But she smiled once more, knowing that this was her family no matter what. "It's good to see anybody here, I thought we were all that was left.." Her gloomy voice returned. "I beg Tor to bring us back." She looked over to Midian, and then to Ayasha and thumped her tail against the ground. It made her happy to see this reunion. It was wonderful to be healthy, but even more than that, hungry. "Ayasha you're amazing! If you don't mind...." Her voice seemed kind of teasing as she eyes the deer, her maw trying not to drool.

[Ayasha]

The happiness and relief that she felt as she saw them coming were more powerful than anything she had felt for months. For a moment she couldn't say anything. There was her son, the only one of the litter to ever show face in Ge-rad. He was the little hope she still held onto of their family once again becoming whole. A foolish hope, she realized as every night she went to bed alone. But here he was, so surely this was a sign of hope? Or at least a sign that maybe things weren't as bad as she thought them to be. Dear Talar, the varg that had helped them that faithful night of bizarre rain. She was inspired by the fae's lack of helplessness and her will to carry on. These were traits that Ge-rad needed. These were two vargs that maybe, just maybe were the rebirth of Ge-rad. If nothing else, this was a sweet reunion. One that Ayasha knew would only last a brief time. She sighed as she felt that bittersweet feeling sink into her.

"Midian, my darling! It is good to see you! How long have you been away? It feels like ages." She whined and licked him along his face and behind his ears in greeting. Her whole body shaking with excitement at being together with one of her pups. Once the greeting was done she smiled at her son and then turned to Talar. "Talar! It is good to see you." She greeted her packmate fondly, rubbing against her to share their scent and the scent of Ge-rad. As if this would keep her from leaving once again. "Oh, yes. Please, dig in." She chuckled at Talar's words. Her gaze went back to her son's face. "The paths of life take us all to different places. Your grandmother knew that when your grandfather left, and I knew it when your father disappeared and I knew it when you and your siblings left. But these paths often intersect or rejoin. As yours has done with mine, and mine has done with Talar's."

Ayasha gave her son an affectionate push across his shoulder with her muzzle. "I want to ask how long you will stay here. But I know that your time with me is always short and fleeting." Here she smiled softly, her emerald orbs giving away the bit of pain and sadness she felt for the absence of her family. "Do not feel bad, Midian. You are growing and you need to explore the world. Ge-rad is too small for you, for your heart. Only you can decide that, but I know you have. I knew it from the moment you were born. One with a heart as big as yours, no pack will ever be big enough. That is not to say you will have no pack. But you will come and go. As the wind." She smiled again, but this time her smile was lighter. "Well, you know I can't get the deer to lay down willingly without the help of Talar." Ayasha laughed. It was good to have company again. To have one's heart filled with joy because one was surrounded by love. The life of a wolf was not meant to be lived alone. Despite her desire for that when she was younger, Ayasha knew this was true. She never understood her father leaving her family, nor her mother's disappearance. She never understood the pain that could be caused by loneliness until she had gone off on her own. "Your grandmother would be pleased to know you are back. She has something for you, some...rite of passage I believe." Ayasha recalled the conversation she had with her mother a few nights ago. "He'll be of age." Yes, but he rarely comes around. "He will be here soon." Mother! "Ayasha, he wouldn't just leave you to wonder where he is for the rest of your life. He will return soon. You just wait." She had been right, as usual. Not that Ayasha was complaining. She enjoyed her mother being right about these things. "Oh! Talar, before I forget. Uskiya also said that she had something for you. Something about what you've been looking for?" The black femme gave a gentle shrug of her shoulders. She didn't know what her mother had for Talar, but she was curious if the fae knew anything of this.

[▪ Talar ▪]

(Egh.Sorry. A little rushed, I had to write this right away before my track meet so ya :P Wish me luck!)


Talar didn't know why, but her heart swelled up watching the two of company. Talar sniffled a bit and she greeted Ayasha back the same way any good pack member would by brushing furs together, and finally Talar start to feel the Ge-Radian scent mingle in the air. "Yes! And You too! I'm glad to see you're still healthy as a deer!" She laughed, then realized, "Well not that one, but you know what I mean!" Talar nodded and inspected the prey, she moved along to the back leg, and drove her teeth in, but not loudly, so she could still listen and not be rude and gorge. She took a few swift bites and nodded in approval, "Haha, yes, but Ayasha you're the one with the eclectic eyes that just seem to paralyze it!" She giggled. Though yet, her heart still swelled and she could feel Ayasha's emotions flutter through the air creating butterflies in her stomach, and it reminded Talar of why she even left her parents, but she never had that relationship.

Her teeth sunk into another bite, and Talar wagged her tail in pleasure. All of the emotions in the air were too strong to control at once. Talar thought Ge-Rad was just gone, and she had to admit to even leave every now and then herself. Just to speak to someone. It was rare for her to meet even two at once. And in Ge-Rad! She felt... So sorry for her pack. And even remembered thinking they all left to die, but she knew she was wrong. For maybe it was only loneliness that had started to drive Talar out of her Witt's.

"Oh! Talar, before I forget. Uskiya also said that she had something for you. Something about what you've been looking for?"

Talar's head shot immediately up, "What? But-..." Talar was puzzled, almost thinking of what she was looking for. and how Uskiya could have it. A full camp? Pride? True Acceptance? A really BIG Piece of food? The fattest rabbit one has ever found? She ran off in her brain. But in the end Talar just smiled and nodded, "That is really nice, why, I don't know how to put it." And suddenly Talar had no way of saying that really any other way. She was just grateful but you cannot answer a riddle without knowing it. Unless your really, really smart :]

Thought Talar had this look on her face, almost like she knew what it was. And she almost felt happier than ever.

[Midian]

Midian nodded. It felt as though it had been many seasons since he'd been home, even though only a few moons had passed. In that time, he had grown almost as large as his grandfather, as sleek as his mother, and as colorful as his father. He was nearly full grown now, and with a nomadic pack all his own; 'If anyone should call us that,' he thought with a smile, pulling away from his mother's exuberant greeting as she turned to properly welcome Talar. He grinned at his newfound packmate, and winked conspiratorially as they continued to banter. He felt like a child exchanging jokes with a friend. His mother was not put-off by their light-hearted jests; she subscribed to them readily, which made him smile all the more. He was proud that his mother's famous hunting skill truly was the stuff of legend, and that her talent was such an asset to a pack like Ge-Rad. He beamed at her even as she continued on, speaking of his long lost family, of life-paths that they all traveled. He was glad that his path never strayed too far from hers.

He returned her affectionate nudge, brushing his nose against her neck as she admitted the question she wished to ask but dare not. He listened quietly as she explained herself, as she explained his traits, his qualities, the things only a mother could know. He was at once sad and proud to hear what she said of him, knowing her honest words were both a compliment and a curse. He mirrored her smile, and then they both laughed when she mentioned the deer. He nodded in agreement with Talar afterward, glancing at his mother's beautiful green eyes. He said thoughtfully, returning to her previous mention of a pack, "Even my own merry band cannot steal a deer from the herd as skillfully as you do, Mother. You should meet them; two of my greatest friends. They come and go right along with me. They are... the leaves on the wind, I guess you could say. I'm sure you could teach us all a thing or two about stunning the Herla."

He grinned, and his tail raised proudly as he mentioned his friends. He couldn't remember, but he didn't think they had been properly introduced. It was an oversight he planned to correct in time. His grin faded slightly, however, and his thoughts returned to the present moment at the mention of his grandmother, Uskiya. He wondered where she was, for she would surely have come as soon as she heard his howl, or would have answered him if she were too far away to immediately appear. He slanted his head curiously to one side. 'A rite of passage?' he wondered, lifting his brows and nodding. He glanced at Talar as Ayasha relayed a second message to the tawny drappa; she looked almost as bemused as he felt toward the cryptic words, but he shrugged cluelessly and decided not to pursue that topic. Instead, he looked back to his mother, and asked: "Where is Grandmother anyway? She must be around here somewhere, right?" 'She didn't disappear along with the rest of Ge-Rad, did she?' He didn't want to ask.

[Ayasha]

After the proper greetings had been taken care of, and the threesome was able to quiet their anxieties if only for a moment, Ayasha settled down into a more relaxed position. After her words had settled in on both vargs, she gave them a smile. "Perhaps it is time for a tale. One that Uskiya would want you both to hear." Ayasha smiled affectionately as she thought of her mother. Uskiya was indeed in Ge-rad. Tending to the pack's memory, if nothing else. There was something in Ge-rad that Uskiya held onto fiercely. Something that Ayasha envied. She looked to both vargs, her emerald orbs once again lighting up, the color and vigor returning to them as she thought of this story. She hadn't been told this story till she was at least a year old. Some rite of passage that her mother hadn't thought her ready for, till then at least.

"As vargs, we live as one with the earth and all living things. That is something we pride ourselves in. But, many vargs fail to see that we are connected more to the ground we walk, than we are to our past." Ayasha paused for a moment and sought the right words. Her mother was so eloquent with telling these stories. Sometimes she wondered why she even tried to compare. But it wasn't so much the telling of the story, as it was what she wanted to convey. What she wanted them to know. "Unfortunately, I'm not as proficient of a story teller as your grandmother. But, I do know that she is still in Ge-rad. In her usual spots. Almost haunting them, but she remains here. Preserving our past, Ge-rad's past. It's not pleasant to stay here, not when everyone is gone. I'm not sure why I remain. I think I long for the feelings, the memories." Ayasha sighed, the scent of the deer filling her nostrils, but still she did not wish to eat. Having to hunt by herself had taught her to store and save what she could. To ensure that there would always be food.

"Anyway, when we leave the homes of our births, we are often leaving behind a part of ourselves. A part that will never be found again. I left that many times, each time I left, I left behind something new. I cannot say that I regret it, for I am what I am today because of that. But it does often sadden me, to think of the memories I have so casually thrown to the side. Some memories are indeed best left behind." She took a breath and waited for a moment, again the words seemed to be escaping her. "Midian, do not turn your back on your past, even as you forge a new path in life. Talar, never forget what makes you strong, for though they may have caused you pain, those memories are what give you life today."

Ayasha smiled again, hoping that her words gave both of them something. Ayasha had spent much of her youthful days searching for something that didn't exist. She did not wish that to be the same fate for these two vargs.

[Uskiya]

The grey fae heard the call. She heard it ripple through the leaves on the ground, through the water almost frozen in anticipation. She heard it ring in her auds, but she felt it the strongest. She felt it in her heart. It was her grandson, it was her daughter and it was her packmate. They had come back. Though, Ayasha had never left, it felt as though she did. But Uskiya knew her daughter felt the loss more than she did. She had lost her pups, her mate, her packmates and her adoptive father. Ayasha had lost a lot in her life, but she showed no worse for it. "Perhaps then, it is time." Uskiya said quietly. She breathed in the scent of her returning packmates and made her way silently through the forest.

Much of her time spent alone had taught her things she wish she had known earlier in life. But these were thoughts best saved for time alone. It was here that she would pass her knowledge to Midian and Talar. She had enstructed Ayasha to inform them when they got there. She had known they were coming, she could feel it in the earth. Her pace increased as she grew nearer, but her demeanor remained calm. She was excited to see them, to finally feel that Ge-rad was perhaps growing again. But, she knew better than to get her hopes us. She entered the clearing like a grey mist, drifting almost, to their sides and settling herself down on her haunches.

"It is good to see you all. Her tail brushed rapidly across the forest floor, stirring up what little dust was left from the drying sun. 'I'm sure Ayasha has informed you that I have information for both of you. She grinned before playfully greeting them all, in turn. A whine began to form in her chest and before she knew it, it has escaped her maw and filled the stillness of the forest. She tenderly licked Midian's forehead and nuzzled him thoroughly before moving onto Talar and greeting her packmate with respect and love. Lastly she greeted her daughter.

"It has been much too long. She said, situating herself once again on her haunches and looking from one varg to the other. "I'm afraid what I have to say may be confusing. It may inf act, make no sense at all. I am dreadfully aware of it. But, these are rites of passage, that I wish all vargs took. But you two are honored enough to take them." She took a moment to think. "It may make more sense if I were to explain this dream that I had. That is, if the two of you wish to know." She smiled and waited. Much of her wisdom had been learned through these dreams, dreams that she had every night. Dreams that may trouble her, may bring her joy. Dreams, that felt almost real and yet undeniably false. But, was there truth in what her dreams said? That Uskiya waited patiently to have shown to her. Not by some god, but by nature and by the natural occurrence known as life.

[▪ Talar ▪]

"Where is Grandmother anyway? She must be around here somewhere, right?"
Talar licked her chops in agreement. That was almost what she had been wondering too. Even though Uskiya wasn't Talar's biological grandmother, she had that place in the pack where she was pretty much the mother of all Ge-Radians. The greeting had settled down, and Talar felt happy, her hunger and comfort set for the day. Once the black fae began to sit and announce that it was time for a tale, Talar began to wag her tail, and she completely agreed. She felt warm and safe, like a pup again. Talar became settled and seated in her own place only a stride away, her tail looming around her body as far it could reach and her neck inclined forward in anticipation to hear, "I would love to hear it Ayasha!"Talar grinned and her teal eyes brightened. She looked at Midian, wondering if he would be excited at all to hear the tale too. But something left her wondering, it was almost like an answer to her previous thoughts of the former-beta, Uskiya. What she would want me to hear... The sandy fae became intent to listening right away.
....we are connected more to the ground we walk, than we are to our past...
Some words stuck out more than others. She had to admit her life wasn't as tragic as most others. But it was even the more recent past with her broken up little pack of friends. She could remember their faces, she thought that they could all just run away and off into Transylvania free and hunting together as a pack, she was happy then. But then things happen, someone wants to have more power, someone claims to be the hardest and more deserving worker. Things only went tragic, and they all sought-out their own homes in the end. Away from each other. and then as the subject changed, to speaking skills and staying in an empty pack land Talar almost got sad, she knew she thought about it a lot, but it kept popping up "It is fine, Ayasha, I think you could still bring us a good moral to it!" She almost laughed, but decided not too. For the rest was true, for as much as Talar wanted to keep her pack life strong, it was hard when the place was full of nothingness. She felt proud of the Grandma and Ayasha both, they were probably the most devoted to their pack out of all the varg. she had to admit that.

...Talar, never forget what makes you strong, for though they may have caused you pain, those memories are what give you life today....
Talar felt almost moved in her tight position, curled up in a ball on the ground. For this tale wasn't of butterflies and Happy endings, it was truth of life, and experiance passed down"We do leave things behind don't we? Is that what makes History repeat itself?" The fae almost felt guilty and recalled so much forgotten lesson's she had learned that went to waist, "It's true, life and strength. I would be maybe less without my days." Talar nodded, almost solemnly, she had gone through much pain, with her friends, and long lost family. The pain her sister still haunts her today. Just so much, but it is the only thing that keeps her going today. Without her pack, memories, enemies and friends, she would be worth nothing and have no reason to keep going on. She'd be less than a kerl, she'd be a ghost.
Talar was lost in her own thoughts, they were so loud and haunting, that the voice of another almost startled her. She didn't smell her nor sense her through sound or vibrations. The sand-colored wolf jump from her curled position to almost a defensive stance on the ground. It didn't last long though until she noticed it was the most loving Uskiya. Talar felt almost to happy to speak, her eyes squinted and it was only her birthmarks that stood out, "Uskiya! You're hear just as Ayasha had said!" The fae cried out and greeted her elder properly. Talar's tail started to wag back and fourth as whines from both of them seemed to sound out. Finally she moved back to give Uskiya space to greet her daughter who was next in line.

And then as Uskiya came to sit down after the reunion, Talar had nodded, and thought a little frustrated when she heard the word 'confusing' she glanced at Midian and back, she had begun to wonder what the rites of passage were used for, and what it really was. She felt entirely grateful, and was still running with joy inside her mind. She stood still and listened. Dreams? Talar thought uneasily. She almost slightly recalled some old stories of a certain power that few wolves had, but she could barley remember what it was called. The-...sign? No.. sight? Talar tilted her head, it couldn't be possible though, it was a mere cubs tail. But even with Uskiya saying she had strange dreams, Talar didn't really doubt it, she could detect the certainly in her elders eyes and trusted it."I Wish to hear them..." Talar said without a second thought, and looked to Midian, wondering if her felt the same, or thought if the fae had gone crazy. but who had sent her these dreams?... are they really just dreams? Or.. I guess Talar had to just find that out for herself.

ooc|A little repeative, my bad ^^"

[Midian]

At his mother's proposal, Midian finally seated himself comfortably on the frosted, mossy ground. He sat beside Talar, and together they exchanged a curious glance. She seemed very excited to hear Mother's tale, and Midian couldn't blame her - he remembered hearing stories as a cub, tales of heroes like Fren and monsters like Wolfbane, parables of obstacles and triumphs, mythical landscapes long lost to all Varg - but he was wary of this particular tale Ayasha wanted to tell, and he wondered if this story was not one of heroism but of tragedy. And not tragedy of some tired old character or another, but the tragedy of life itself. 'How cruel it is,' he suddenly thought, with a bitterness that surprised him. He was not entitled to feel it, he dimly realized. He was not old enough to feel the crippling effects of time; he had not loved and lost; he was raised with a family and pack - a gift few Varg had ever been given freely. But there it was - that angst and bitterness - lodged in his heart, festering slowly. He wondered how long it'd been there.

His eyes flit back to his mother's face and he smiled gently at her as she mentioned Uskiya. His darkening mood was cast off his back like a blanket of snow when he heard that his grandmother was still here, still roaming the deserted packland like a ghost - he smiled. Her presence was certainly ghostly, even when she was with him. She was not haunting nor frightening, as traditional specters were made out to be. She simply existed everywhere at once. It was as if her presence was all around, benign and omniscient, always looking out for him. She was as much a part Ge-Rad as the ancient trees, and just as persisting. It almost made him wonder if she had always been here all along, in this land, in this forest, since the beginning of time. It was a childish thought, but it amused him nevertheless.

Mother sighed and Midian returned to present company. He wanted to reassure her somehow, to tell her that her precious memories were not all that was left of Ge-Rad. He wanted to promise her that the pack would flourish once again, and that she might one day be a grandmother of more little Ge-Radians, as tenacious as she was. But he couldn't make himself say the words. The reassuring words would sound like half-truths, and echo as emptily as these quiet woods. So he swallowed, and let Talar speak, then his mother. He said nothing.

Her words saddened him, at first. To hear that he had so blatantly cast away opportunities in his home with his pack, with his family, almost made him regret his decision to leave with Locke and Tarkov. But then he was overcome with confusion as his love for his friends and his sorrow for his missed life in Ge-Rad grappled with one another. Had he stayed in this beautiful, bountiful land with his dear mother and grandmother, watching the pack dwindle away as the suns flew by, he would never have known what the world was like beyond the mountains. He would never have known Locke and Tarkov half so well - as brothers now - only as strangers who had accosted him in the Valley of Kosov. He would never have experienced the same hardship, trust, determination, terror and triumph as he had in his adventures with his "pack". Was it such a bad thing that he had not been here at Ge-Rad after all? He had come back, had he not? It was a claim none of his sisters - perhaps not even his father - could honestly say. And he could not condemn them either - he knew the call of the wild, how strong and powerful and romantic it was.

He decided, at last, to smile. The advice his mother gave him was just the conclusion he had come up with on his own: he was determined to remember and honor his past, but it would not deter him as he stepped into the future.

Suddenly, like an apparition, Uskiya emerged from the woods. He wondered how long she'd been there, and why he hadn't noticed her before. It was strange to think she had been there without his noticing, but he did not dwell long on his concern. Instead, he surged up to greet her properly, accepting the lick on his forehead with a nuzzle beneath her chin. Then, as she broke away to greet Talar, he settled back onto the ground with his face full of laughter to remember her, to see her again. He looked at his mother to share the joy and jubilation in his eyes until Uskiya seated herself and spoke. He looked back to his grandmother thoughtfully, too amazed by her sudden arrival to say anything. 'Besides, it looks like she has something important to say, something I should remain quiet for.' So he looked at her fondly, contentedly, and widened his ears.

She spoke of a rite of passage and strange dreams. His thoughts, like Talar, drifted to the mythical gift of the Sight. No Varg cub had been born with this mysterious ability in a very long time - surely not in Midian's lifetime, and he doubted his mother's. He was beginning to think it only a myth, like the tales of Fren and Sita, and to a lesser extent, Larka, and her brother, Fell. Instead, he wondered if the dreams were not inspired by the gods. He had long discarded the idea that his birth had been divine - his lineage, though well-remembered, was not made of historical Dragga warlords or Drappa mystics. Yet, the gods would chose any worthy Varg to carry a message; perhaps his grandmother was such a vessel. So he glanced at Talar briefly, together sharing a yearning to hear the dreams, and said softly, "I do."

[Ayasha]

Once again, the story was halted but this time for a pleasant reason. Uskiya made her appearance, as she had told Ayasha she would do so. There was something that Ayasha wished to tell her son, before things got too under way. But the opportunity didn't seem to present itself before Uskiya started to explain her dreams. Ah the dreams, Ayasha was quite familar with them. She had always had vivid dreams as a pup. But, far from anything like the Sight, these dreams were merely manifestations of her desires. Neither she nor Uskiya, nor any varg she knew for that matter, possessed the Sight. But that was beyond the point. Uskiya was here to tell them something. Something Ayasha had often felt she deserved when she was a pup. "Mother, before you go on." Ayasha paused and let her mother nod before she continued.

"I don't want either of you." She looked to both Talar and Midian as she spoke. "I did a lot of traveling when I was younger. I was convinced there was something out there greater than what pack life could offer. But, I turned out to be misguided. I'm not saying that is where you two are. Midian, I know your heart will always lie in Ge-rad, or at least with those you care about. I don't worry about you being out there. You must do what your heart tells you. And Talar, Ge-rad has been given new life thanks to you. Whatever past you came from, don't let it keep you running." She smiled fondly at them both before turning back to her mother. "You can only imagine the gifts you have given me."
Ayasha relaxed and felt the world move within her chest. This was how it was suppossed to be. She knew that it wouldn't last forever, and that some of them would part. Uskiya would always be here. If in more of a wandering way. Talar would be here, though she wondered where the fae's heart was. There was something about Talar, something concealed that she wished to learn. She knew little of her past, but there was something there. Ayasha let that thought drift away for the moment, focusing back on her mother.

[Uskiya]

Uskiya paused, thinking of how best to tell them what she wanted to tell them. The dreams were strange and yet remarkable. Things she wasn't sure how to really present to the three of them. True, Ayasha had been told of some. But there were others that she was unaware of. Others that even Uskiya wondered about. She looked up to Ayasha, as she spoke of wanting to tell them something. Uskiya nodded her head with a smile, grateful for the chance to think of how she wished to continue. It had occurred to Uskiya, once while resting near the Cwen's pond, that so many things in life, both difficult and easy, could all be so easily avoided. If one simply didn't try, and yet that brought her no more comfort than knowing life all ended in death. But, after having thought of it for a bit more, she remembered that life was a circle, everything appeared and then eventually faded. There was nothing more to it.

Ayasha's comment nearly shocked Uskiya out of her thoughts. Her daughter's expression was that of compassion and seriousness. Uskiya smiled in a way of startled expectance and happiness. She wasn't sure what to say to her daughter and found that she could only nod lightly. The time had come, then. She let out a breath and closed her eyes for a moment as if collecting herself from the inside. "For many many moons I have had dreams. Dreams that are strange and foreign to me, but at the same time familar. I do not possess the Sight, very few do. What I have is something different. A connection with the land that most vargs are unaware of. We travel the lands and give little thought to where we come from."

Uskiya let the words sink in. Remembering the vivid pictures she saw in her dreams. She knew where she came from. Her parents had wanted to kill her. Her sister had been her only friend. And even that friendship had been questionable. A warm breeze began to blow through the gathering. Uskiya lifted her nose and took in the scent of Ge-rad. "Many a night I have found myself wandering the forests not quite aware of myself and yet feeling completely solid in my steps. When we are born, we feel disconnected and alone. Our mothers' warmth is the only thing we have to cling to. Once we can see then we begin to learn what it is to be varg. Varg is better than everything. But we forget, that nature can smite us down."

Uskiya looked to Midian and Talar. "You both want it. I can feel it. You both want to know what it is to be varg. That there is something out there that others know and you don't. But do not be fooled. Your greatest teacher is yourself." Uskiya waited for them to think of what she had said. To try and make sense of it. They would speak when they were ready. And so she waited.

[▪ Talar ▪]

Talar had been anticipated, yet overheard in her mind. She could almost feel the lecture coming on, the kind of ones that deal with advice and life, the ones that you already know like a broken record, but also the ones you never fallow and only seem to pay for in the end of lives journey. She knew it was coming, but there was almost a rush in Talar that day, and she just wanted to talk, wanted to hear everything that anyone had to say. It was the aftertaste of loneliness that brought it fourth to her motions. Then after a few exchanged looks with Midian, it was Ayasha who had once spoke again. Talar felt her heart drop at the words, for most she had already learned, but was still so young that she envied and wanted more of what was out there. The oppostie of what ayasha was telling them. ---We each seek our own destiny. That was a quote she had always heard in the stories of Fell, Larka. The own words of Tsinga. For now she had started to remember the stories, but it was much off topic and Talar let it be, resting her thoughts more on what the Coal-colored she wolf was speaking. Yet, thee, Talar's heart had dropped heavy, she had almost gasped. Ge-Rad meant a lot to Talar, and could Talar mean even that much to Ge-Rad. But the Fae came across the words again and only smiled. She knew it was hard not to run, even when there was nowhere left to go. She wanted to try so hard and agree, but Talar's throat was swelled and the she-wolf had nothing to say.

The conversations mainly wore around the two varg, and even though these many glorious tales of Earth and Sight came at her so quickly off-mind, she automatically fell into it like a spell, and was drawn to it. And then the sandy-Fae knew it, she closed her eyes as Uskiya spoke. Talar had gone back, her mind back in a nice warm den, she could barley remember, but it felt so real. The warmth of her mother, and the comfort of her sister. She knew nothing as she was then, and felt even the more lost now. The Fae sought life as a question for so long, and was it what these experienced varg were telling them is to not search for a place you've already found? Possibly so, but Talar didn't want to stop searching, for it felt such a waist not to see what there is out in the endless world... So much, but are they telling me nothing, that nothing is out there? She thought deeply and opened her eyes.

As Uskiya finished, Talar felt the more moved, almost hallow inside. I do want it. her lobes swiveled around to the vargs next to her. "How?" Talar only whispered slightly. She knew this was a simple and already-answered-type question to ask. But she felt so obligated to say it. How could she teach herself, should she stay? Yes. She knew that was obvious, but it almost felt inside of her that she was being told to move fourth. Move fourth in Ge-Rad possibly? She kept quiet, studying her paws and glancing back and to at her new friend Midian. And finally Talar opened her mouth, shakily and spoke, "I once thought I was invincible, immortal, something no other varg is like. I once thought I could just go where the wind took me. I once thought I could just let the withering die and move on without a scratch. But inside me, I cannot help but feel that that is free. That isn't varg, is it? But I can only feel to hold onto it, Uskiya. Aren't we here to be free, and love, and...." Goodness, I feel...Stupid. Talar thought taking a breath. For did Talar even make sence to her? "Ironic isn't it?... For I didn't really once feel it. Because I still do. " She felt a little spirited, confused of her own confession. She knew how to be a varg, but the way the Storyteller said it made her feel that is really was only Herself that could take control of that. Talar was in control of her own life, and it was up to her weather to have simple arrogance cloud it or not.

The she-wolf wasn't so good at interpreting things much out of what others said. But she finally got what the two Fae's were trying to tell her.