Too Busy Growing Up

[Midian]

(open. hello again, Ge-Rad)

The blue, pure sky and the sun gleaming on the field and trees made him feel alive. The sapphire pond, twinkling in nature's cheery golden glow, was beautiful and peaceful. He preferred not to walk along its bank, however, which was bristling with barbed weeds and stagnate marsh water; instead, the youth traveled along a thin path that wove between the trees, and he only looked at Cwen's Pond from a distance. At a lull in his aimless wandering, as he stared out at the pond, he wondered, 'Who was this Cwen, anyway? Was she an important leader of Ge-Rad? A prophet? Some character in a forgotten story?' Her identity was a great mystery to him, and a usual source of frustrating bemusement, but he never bothered to ask one of the adults for an answer, and, at this very moment, he found that he was grateful that he didn't know who she was. 'This place might be less pleasant if she was some water monster, or less interesting if she was only some poor soul who couldn't swim,' Midian thought coldly.

'I wonder if Mother knows who Cwen was. Or if Draeg knows. This is his land, after all. Wouldn't it just have been better to call it Draeg's Pond? He does own it, sort of, doesn't he? No one else can mosey over here and call it their pond. I'm sure Draeg would have something to say about it if they tried.' Midian grinned. He tilted his head thoughtfully to one side, and tried to picture how it would look for Draeg to duke it out with a crazy Kerl. Just for fun, Midian made the Kerl huge, and black, with bulging blue eyes and a thunderous voice. Somehow his Dragga would overcome the terrible odds and triumph, displaying his prowess as one of the greatest warriors in all the land, and Midian would be invited to train with the mighty combatant as his sole apprentice; together - or sometimes on his own - they would obliterate every scourge of evil that inhabited the world, and he would be called a hero. His name would become one of legend, and would be passed on to generations of young Varg. 'Then the pond would be renamed after me, in honor of my good deeds.'

The boy could dream.

His dreams, however, quickly spiraled into self-doubt, and he was disgusted to feel a familiar ache of guilt in his chest. What good deed could he possibly accomplish if he couldn't even make time for his own family? 'Why would Draeg want to train me if I'm too busy growing up without him? And without Mother and Father? And I don't even remember the last time I saw the girls for more than a second.' A half-hearted smirk drifted across his face like a aimless ship at sea. He didn't feel too guilty about missing the companionship of his sisters, simply because they were his sisters, but he did genuinely miss them on occasion. He was eager to play the "Dominance Game," as he called it, which was essentially a stare-down competition for rank, and was itching to wrestle with pups his own age, or learn to hunt with them, or play tricks on them; but he tended to avoid their company if he could, even though he really didn't know why. 'Because I'm growing up to be a good-for-nothing Kerl, that's why,' he snorted, flicking his ears angrily. "The Kerl of Ge-Rad, letting everything go to waste because I'm 'too busy' growing up."

[Ayasha]

How long had it been since she had come this way? How long had it been since she had genuinely thought of Cwen or the horrible tragedy that befell Ge-rad? It must have been months, was she even around when it had happened? Ayasha smiles as she found herself trying to piece together her past. She had run off from Ge-rad at least twice by now and each absence had been very long. But she always came back and always made it up to them. At least she felt like she did. But now she felt as though her own family was missing. She was the only one that ever seemed to be around. Kaemon wasn't to be found, neither were her daughters Raine, Vera or Bellona. And her son Midian had been absent for who knew how long. Could her past be following her now? Had she done something wrong to anger the gods so that they no longer honored her family? She had made mistakes, everyone does..so why did it seem like she was singled out now? Why was her sister no where to be found?

"It just isn't meant to be at this time I guess. I've tried. But..."Ayasha shook her head. This wasn't the varg she knew talking. This wasn't the strong guard of Ge-rad talking now. No, it was the fearful mother, worried for her pups. Worried that her family would never be a family. Quietly she approached the pond and sat down and stared into the water with her emerald orbs. She wondered if Cwen had ever felt this way, or her own mother for that matter. Uskiya tried to raise three pups by herself, without Cal. And she, Ayasha herself had made it hard for her. That was the past though, and tomorrow was the future but right now was the present. "They'll come back when they're ready to. What I can do now is hold down Ge-rad, make sure it's still here when every one comes back."

Ayasha raised her head and scanned the area. She wasn't alone but she wasn't entirely sure who was with her. She scented the air and it smelled familar. She stood up and swiveled her auds to try and catch another noise. Her emerald orbs darted back and forth with cool curiousity. Tilting her head back she let out a short howl, inviting the other varg to join her. At least it would be company. The lands of Ge-rad had seemed so empty lately. She couldn't even find Draeg. And her mother Uskiya had been busy lately so she hadn't seen much of her either. The howl ended and she sat down on her haunches, her stomach let out a small growl as she became aware of her own bodily needs. It had been a day since she had eaten anything. After the incident with the herla and the storm Ayasha hadn't much felt like going hunting. Not that she was afraid, it just seemed like more work and it seemed rather lonely. Glancing back to the pond she watched as a few fish darted smoothly underneath the glass like surface. Her tongue shot out and ran along her maw and she stared. Perhaps a fish or two would help.

Ayasha scrunched down at the bank and watched the fish closely. They began to move in patterns, a few breaking off to swim over the other way before returning back to the group. She watched their movements and their communication. Her stomach protested once more and with that Ayasha crept slowly to the side and waited for the fish to swim closer. A few fish began to swim nearer and they took their time as they scanned the bottom for any food. Ayasha flicked her tail and without a sound she launched herself into the pond. Her maw closed around the water and with surprise her fangs sunnk into the scales of a fish. Lifting her head up she proudly displayed the fish to the gods and then returned to the bank. Her ebony coat shined in the sun as the droplets of water began to drip off. She took no time in tearing open the fish and feasting on it's flesh. Though this would only last her a little while it was better than nothing. She appeared to be focused on eating, but Ayasha was always aware of what was going on around her. That she had learned from her easrly streak of independence. Something that her pups appeared to have inherited.

[Midian]

He was acutely aware of the silence in the trees after he spoke. It was as if the forest, with no rebuttal for his self-accusation, was silently agreeing with him. 'This is stupid,' he thought angrily, though he didn't even know to what he was referring. He flicked his tail, and his lips curled back into an involuntary sneer of self-disgust. But rather than attempt to sort through his emotions, Midian merely sat sullenly and stared out across the glittering pond. He was frustrated; he felt boxed in by his own anger and doubt, and was unsure of what to do. 'What if I disappeared for good? Would they even miss me?' He stood up, and curled his tail proudly over his back, his ears cocked forward, he held his head high. 'If I took on a quest - a quest fit for a hero - would anyone dare call me a Kerl? No, they'd say: "That's Kaemon and Ayasha's boy, the young dragga from Ge-Rad! He's a real courageous Varg. A true hero..."' He cocked his head thoughtfully. 'But then they'll want me to fight every evil thing in the world, and that's a lot of fighting.'

His ears perked up suddenly, and he looked down the bank of the pond to where he heard a short, soft howl. His posture sagged. It was his mother. For a moment, Midian wondered if he should disappear in the trees. It would be a simple thing to do, and it would be so easy. What could he possibly say to his mother to explain or atone for his disappearance? He must have caused her a lot of grief, going missing like that, and he refused to see his mother hurt over something he'd done.

'No!' He thought, knitting his brow furiously. 'I'm not gonna keep running away. That's how a Sickla would act! And I am a son of Ge-Rad, not a Sickla.' He snorted, feeling justified and proud. He stood up tall; he looked so very much like his mother in size and build, but there was no doubt that he was his father's son when his fur caught the light. He glowed like a warm ember as he stepped away from the woodland shadows and into the cheery golden sun, and he felt warm and at peace as he trotted down the length of Cwen's Pond. He spotted his mother right off: Ayasha's black fur stood out starkly against the azure, glassy surface of the water. She looked like she was in the middle of fishing, so rather than disturb her and scare her prey, Midian padded softly through the grasses without making a sound. His eyes sparkled when Ayasha snatched the fish, and his mouth began to water when he saw her tear it open. Still, he was mute.

When he was finally a tail's-length away, Midian greeted Ayasha. "Hello Mother, did you miss me?" He smiled ruefully, and spoke softly. When he reached her, he rubbed his cheek fondly against her shoulder, focusing on her scent, on her warm fur, on how much he missed her. He was nearly a year old now - too much time had slipped away from them both. He was suddenly overcome with joy, elation, pride that he didn't run away this time. His tail began to wag fiercely, and the youth couldn't hide the smile that brimmed all over his face. To keep himself from going mute, he glanced at the fish and said, "I saw you catch that thing. You still gotta teach me how to do that. Or else you'll get no fish when I go hunting for you."

[Ayasha]

Ayasha could hear her son before he would know she had. She could smell his scent drifting her way and it took all her strength not to wag her tail at his approach. At his voice she looked up and smiled. Licking her maw she pushed the remainder of the fish towards her son and groomed herself before speaking. She wanted to ask him why he had run off, what had propelled him to do so. But she also knew that sometimes these things had to happen. She had set off at a very young age as well. To try and find what she was, who she was. Perhaps her son was on the same quest she had been on, and at many times felt she was still on. "I have missed you Midian. All of Ge-rad has missed you." She smiled as his demeanor became more playful and he began to revert to a more puppy like manner. She licked his head and nuzzled him as he wriggled. tail wagging furiously.

At his comment she glanced down to the fish and then to the pond. Teaching her pups how to be a varg was something very important she had yet to do. She was hoping that Kaemon would be around to help. Since their pups were of mixed blood she wanted them to know what it was like. What their heritage meant. How important it was. She loved Kaemon more than anything, and yet his absence had gone without warning..she still didn't mourn the temporary loss. She hadn't had time to. "Yes, I do need to teach you to fish. And then you can bring me fish when I'm old and lazy." She smiled at her son and nuzzled him again. Her expression turned to a momentary frown and she looked about the pond. "You will learn the ways of the varg. You will learn about your heritage. Both sides of it." She smiled at her son once more before going to the pond and lapping at the cool water.

"Midian, I'm glad you're back. It seems like everyone disappeared at once. I wasn't sure what had happened. You know you're father will be back soon. And then he can teach you everything he knows too." She looked up from where she had been gazing at her reflection. She wanted to know what had called to him, what made him leave. But she also knew that he would have to want to tell her. She wasn't going to ask him. "Do you know why this pond is named after Cwen? Would you like to hear that story? " She walked back from the pond and sat down near him. Her black fur glinting in the sun. She wagged her tail. "Or perhaps you'd like to see if you can beat me in a fierce battle of paw against paw?" She raised an eyebrow and cocked her head. Inviting her son to play. It had been a long time since she had actually played..with anyone really. She and Kaemon hadn't done anything since the pups had been born. Her sister Krystal was gone and even Draeg seemed to be hard to find. "You do know that your grandmother is going to want to see how big you've gotten though. I hear she needs a strong varg to help her with some tasks." Ayasha smiled and knew that her son would be up to the tasks if he wanted to help. But truthfully she wondered how long he would stay. If he would journey off again to try and make a name for himself or if he'd stick around.

[Midian]

Midian was a little embarrassed by his mother's comment, and while he nuzzled her fondly in return, he felt the old recurring guilt tug gently at his heart. 'All of Ge-Rad has missed me? Why should they? I've been nothing to them, only a Kerl who shows his face once in a while.' But he tried desperately hard to conceal his secret thoughts from his mother, and as they pulled away from each other, he smiled happily at her. "Well, then they'll be happy to know I've returned, I suppose," he said brightly, ignoring the accusing thoughts that swirled around in his head. He followed her gaze to the fish, and since she'd offered it to him earlier, he hungrily began to gnaw on its scaly remainders, delighting in the cool, moist taste of its flesh. His tail was beating contentedly now, and there was a pleased grin spread thickly across his golden muzzle. He finished just as she began speaking again, and he looked about him in the weeds until she mentioned turning old. He snorted disbelievingly, and gave her a wry glance. 'You? Old and lazy? I don't believe it,' he almost said. 'You are the least lazy Varg I've ever known, and hopefully you won't grow old for many more moons!'

But, before he could say his thoughts aloud, Ayasha's voice turned a little more serious. He could hear her voice fluctuate subtly, lending her sentences a somber quality. Midian tilted his head curiously, wondering about the slight change in her attitude, and what she meant when she said he had two sides to his heritage. 'Well, I suppose there would be two different families I'm related to: Mother's and Father's. And now, well, I will carry on the proud Varg bloodline of two great families, to become the hero of all the Free Wolves.' He lifted his muzzle proudly, unaware what her true meaning had been. Midian, either through his own forgetfulness or through the intention of his own parents to keep it a secret from him, did not realize he was both a wolf and a dog. To his own knowledge, he was a pure-blooded Varg, and though he didn't dislike mongrels - his own Drappa was one, for Fenris' sake! - he was proud to be a free and true wolf. He sighed happily, and looked to his Mother as she resumed speaking.

At the mention of his Father aloud, Midian's posture weakened. He shifted his weight uncomfortably and frowned. "I hope I see him soon," he said quietly. "It's been suns since we've last spoken. Do you think he'll be angry with me for leaving Ge-Rad?" He looked up hopefully at his mother. He didn't believe Kaemon would be enraged that he'd left, but he believed their relationship would be much different now that he'd been gone for so long. He tried to shake off his uncertainty, and looked out across the glittering pond. His ears twitched when his mother spoke next of Cwen, and he tried to hide his disappointment. 'Cwen? So she was just a character in a story after all,' he thought, tilting his head slightly. He glanced at his mother, about to agree with her suggestion to hear the tale, when she asked him to wrestle instead. His tail began to wag again, and he eagerly came to his paws. Suddenly, he no longer looked at all like the worried young Varg who sat at his mother's side just a moment before, but like a fierce and energetic youth, eager to prove his mettle to one of the finest warriors in Transylvania. "Battle first!" He shouted. "And after I've won -" he winked mischievously, "- you can tell me the story. How does that sound to you?"

At the mention of his grandmother, however, he briefly lost his attentive battle-readiness and cocked his head thoughtfully to one side. "I'm a big wolf now, aren't I? She'll be surprised, I'll bet." He puffed out his chest for dramatic emphasis to his next declaration, "I'm definitely the strong Varg she needs! I'll be done with those tasks so fast that she'll swear I was Fren himself!" He said, grinning and wagging his tail. Of all the heroes in every story Midian had ever heard, Fren was his very favorite, and he aspired to be like him when he grew up.