Watching. . .Just Watching

[Renn]

A strange night, Renn thought as she gazed up at the sky. Tor's silver orb hung high in the ebony blanket of darkness, surrounded by the stars of those who had passed. The abnormality of such a beautiful night was that a silver mist hung around her belly, shading the sky with its peculiar glow. A very strange night.

Raising her golden maw to the sky, Renn gave voice to all the emotions inside her in one long melody. Her worries about her forgotten past went into that melody. Her confused feelings for Drathlic had a bar in the lonely melody. Her haunted Nightmare went into that melody more than all the rest.

Her sage-gaze focused on the brightest star she could find, Sirius, the Dog Star, but one which held a special significance for her. One of the fragments of the shattered glass of her memory held an image of her as a very young cub gazing at the star. Their was someone with her, but before the face was revealed, the shard ended and Renn was once more thrown into the unknown. Feeling a longing for company, Renn prayed that her melody had been heard by someone.

[Drathlic]

The night was cold as a bitter breeze crept slyly and silently into the large cave crevous of a den which held most of the List pack members. A space where a young varg slept often by the side of another was left empty and the chilling wind ruffled the still shedding puppy pelt of a young male. He shivered bitterly and looked up with surprise not to see his faithful friend lying by his side- sharing the body heat as they were now so used to doing.
Cocking an aud, Drathlic let out a light growl before glancing around the other pack members who slept peacefully in huddled groups - seeking out Renn's golden pelt amongst the others. But alas he could not find her, so with a confused flick of his tail he pulled himself up onto his cold limbs and began to pad sleepily out of the den into the savagely bitter night air, wincing as another breeze stunf his muzzle cruely.

Opening his sleepy azure eyes he peered out into the clear night, dropping his muzzle in awe the the beautiful Goddess as she hung high in the sky, glowing down on the land and shedding light for all lera and putnar. His tail slowly began to wag as he thought of his discussion with Silent on the day of their meeting - on how they thought Tor would look if she were to leave the heavens and walk amongst them like a true varg.
But then the lonely, mournful howl of one he recognised immediatly caught his attention and Drathlic's auds perked as his gaze now directed towards the golden pelted faemme. Her cry was sad and sorrowful, making the young male's auds flattened against his scalp and his head and tail to lower in a sorry fashion - though he wasn't quite sure the reason for her howl as everything through the day appeared fine to him.

Padding slowly across the rocky and dried grass terrain, he approached Renn and gave her a slight nudge with his muzzle before laying himself next to her - offering to share his body heat to keep her warm out in the open. "What's wrong Renn?" he asked quietly, avoiding her emerald gaze and merely staring at her paws which lay before her, his own were tucked tightly beneath his body.

[Renn]

Lost in thoughts, Renn did not notice the appearance of her friend until he had lay down beside her, warming her cold body. Turning to him, Renn answered his question. "More. . .More meories have come to me," the golden-pelted faemme stuttered, aware that revealing her secrets might do more harm than good. "And some other things with it. I feel as if the Tor and Fenris have given up on me, abandoned me to the torture of Wolfbane."

Uttering the Shape Changer's name, Renn did not feel the expected ice in her blood, for she had been thinking this thought at the back of her mind all along, slowly freezing her, eating away at her soul. If this happened to all who had a case of short-term Amnesia, then how could those Varg go on living?

((crappy...))

[Drathlic]

Listening to her stuttered words and thoughts of Tor and Fenris abandoning her to Wolfbane's torture, Drathlic's auds flattened and he gave out a short whine, reaching his muzzle forward and giving her a friendly nuzzle, hoping to comfort the obviously discouraged Renn.
Sighing slightly he pulled back and looked at his paws miserably before gazing up into Tor's milky glow and eyeing her beautiful warriors, the stars, as they protected all around her in a proud fashion. "Don't worry Renn - I'm still here if you want to talk. And after all, Tor and Fenris wouldn't give up on any varg without a valid reason," he spoke softly before looking back down into her emerald eyes, a slight smile curling the edges of his lips into a gentle smile. "After all, you've done nothing to deserve a shunning from the Gods," he added with a sudden lick on her muzzle.

It was affectionate in a friendly and supporting manner - for if Drathlic had known that Renn was beginning to aquire feelings for him, then he would have refrained from leading her on in such a fashion...if that was indeed how she would take his kindness.

Exhaling yet anothing sigh he peered up to the Goddess and pulled back his ears slightly. He had forgotten to ask for her help that night when he was talking to Silent...and still he had not asked for her assistence with figuring out his true feelings for Shayla. Did he like her? Was she just a good friend?
And not only this, but all of his other faemme friends were beginning to feel extremely special towards him - those especially who he had seen more lately and more occasionally than the daughter of List.

Shaking these thoughts from his mind he layed his head on the rocks beneath him and curled his tail round himself and Renn's bodies which were laying clsoe together now for sharing heat. "Remember I'm here if you want me Renn.."

[Renn]

Pushing the warm rush that filled her body when Drathlic comforted her with a lick, Renn focused on the memories and the dream and the rest of the confusing matters in her life. "The Nightmare came first," the golden-hued faemme began, pausing to take a breath before she launched in. "It was Winter, and I was standing in a snowy forest. . .and a frozen lake was before me, dusted by snow. You were there, Drathlic, standing on the ice. But the ice cracked and you fell . . .you fell through it," Closing her emerald eyes, Renn let the pain wash over her, her feelings for Drathlic fighting inside her with white-hot fury. "I heard Novex and I turned to meet him, prepared to ask him for help. But his flank was torn, crimson b-blood gushing like a waterfall. He sank to the ground and he- I can't say it. There was a mournful howl, Gryffin's howl, echoing through the air and Bristol and Fiory were there, standing across the lake. But it was misty and they began to fade away, slowly passing through this world," Pausing again, Renn brought forward the last part of the dream. "There was a dead tree behind me, covered in them, Drathlic. Squaks echoed from their craws and they stared at me with stupid dull eyes. But their was one, the raven from my pass, sitting among the other flying scavengers, the ravens. He was staring at me. As if on a silent command, they fell on me, pecking at my fur, tearing at my skin. . ." Shuddering, Renn felt her mind refuse to let her speak of the meomry that had rushed through her when Silent requested to join.

[Drathlic]

Lifting his head now and turning his azure gaze round to Renn's emerald one, he listened tenitively with his auds standing on end, observing the clear pain and trauma in her eyes.
As she finished, explaining as the ravens had attacked her mercifully with their sharp beaks and claws, Drathlic's ears fell and a light whimper escaped his muzzle in a flurry of white mist. Reaching forward he nuzzled her scruff softly and shuffled his body closer to hers for comfort sake.
A thought occured to him and he smiled softly before speaking. "That musn't have been a memory, only a night mare. After all, List and myself were not in your past for you to have experienced such a terrible fate," he explained calmly before licking her muzzle again. "And I can assure you, I'm not going anywhere," he smiled again and allowed his thicker tassel to wag slightly.

He knew that it wasn't going to compensate much for him to have mentioned that - but he was not a wolf to back down and not try to help another's spirit rise, especially if they were a good friend.

[Renn]

Her eyes squeezed shut, Renn began to whimper and she leant against her friend, grateful for the warmth and support from him. She felt a strange stirring, from her bones and her blood, and her tail began to wag from side sto side, speeding up as she let the stirring come and pass, grateful for the hope it had left in her fragile mind. Content to lay beside Drathlic for the night, Renn realised she had not told him about the memory that had attacked her while Drathlic had brought Silent Hunter, the silver faemme. "Drathlic, there's more. . ." the golden faemme began, before drifting off, awaiting for Drathlic to ask to here it.

[Drathlic]

Allowing Renn to nuzzle into him, Drathlic licked her muzzle gently and smiled softly at her, wagging his tail too with the feeling of happiness running through him. He felt better now that her spirit had risen, it upset him to see his friends in such a traumatic state when there was little he could do to help them.
Though as her golden head pulled away and her green eyes were now hidden behind her golden lids, Drathlic cocked his head and peered down questioningly at her before she opened her muzzle to explain. When she did however, it only stirred up more curiosity within him and his auds perked, waiting expectantly to carry on.

Though when Renn remained silent, obviously waiting for him to continue and ask, he growled lightly and leant forward, giving her a gentle nudge with his muzzle. "Go on," he spoke on light words, now focussed completely on Renn and no more on the words that left his muzzle in a light puff of shimmering mist.

[Renn]

Bowing her head as she let the memory wash through her. Opening her moss agate orbs, Renn continued. "It was when you brought that faemme, Silent Hunter," The jealousy in her voice was barely concealed, her words dripping poison at the mention of the name, "Just before Bristol's verdict. Another shard of my shattered memory was revealed. I was a very small cub. It was so terrible, Drathlic, so real! I was in a small dip in the ground, as if Fenris had bitten out a piece of the land, a hollow if you like. The individual blades of grass were all dripping water, whole clumps of once dry-grass soaking. There was a silver Varg there, a Drappa. Her eyes were closed and her body was sodden, she was dead and had died drowning. Next to her was a golden Dragga, similar to me, but his pelt was more ruddy, he too, had drowned, his fur dull. I turned my head and saw a sight to poison my mind, a sight I wish would be truly wiped from my memory, rather than just broken. There was a brown he-cub, a little Dragga, my age. His body was ripped open, guts were spilling from his would and you could glimpse white bone from the torrents of blood rushing from his body. A caw sounded from behind, coming from the beak of a raven, perched on a dead tree. Clacking his beak, the flying scavenger took off, and practically fell onto the cub;s body, pecking out one lifeless eye. That was when she came. A pure white cub, with no streaks of yellow or grey, as white as an Arctic Varg, but like us. She had glowing red eyes, but was different from an albino. . .She was laughing."

Breaking off, Renn had reached the end of what had been revealed to her. But the revelation she had made the same night Silent had been accepted, was yet to be spoken of. "Drathlic, I think the dead wolves were my family."

[Drathlic]

Drathlic lay in silence, his auds relaxed against his scalp but alert and listening intently to the shard of memory Renn had yet to share with him. The further she carried on into her story the further his auds began to fall back and press against his head, eyes closing slowly and at the mention of her brother, or suspected brother, laying dead as the Raven pecked out his eye like a mere blade of grass from the earth they clenched tightly shut into a subtle wince. Leaning closer now to Renn's side he lifted his head and allowed her to sink her own into his neck scruff - offering the most affection and protection he could muster for her.
He too had suffered a similar fate...though his family had not drowned and he had only witnessed his mother's death...though the cause for it was still greatly unknown to him.

Giving out a small whine he opened his cyan eyes once more and pulled his head back, peering into her own emotion filled emerald hues. "I am sorry Renn. I wish there was something I could do for you, apart from listen. But these are memories, and for now there is nothing neither of us can do. But so long as you know - I am here for you...no matter what happens in the future to come and the present now," he smiled softly, greatly hoping that simply being there was enough support for the faemme.
He himself had never experienced such memories in his life...for he'd never had amnesia. But the memories of what he had seen and remembered were enough to huant him for life. But these two cubs out of all those who wandered the forest alone at night, were in truth not alone in such memories. Some had worse than they - and for now, Drathlic and Renn should jsut be thankful that now they will be creating happy memories for their life to come...not traumatic like those they had already witnessed and been a part of.

[Renn]

About to admit her fear to Drathlic, Renn shut her maw before the words could escape. She had previously sworn to herself that she would never confess her fear, not even to one of her greatest friends. Letting her virus-green eyes wander up to the night, Renn contemplated the strange translucent silver mist that hung in the bitter air, wondering if this was unique. Looking back down again, the golden shades faemme softly growled, "How did you meet Silent?" failing to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

[Drathlic]

Observing the fact that Renn had swiftly shut her muzzle as quickly as she'd opened it, Drathlic could tell there was something else that she was failing to tell him. But knowing that his great curiosity often got him into more trouble than was worth it, he let the matter slide and his gaze followed her own to the low laying mist that hunt over the eery, bare branches of the winter trees. It was a beautiful sight indeed thanks to Tor's pale light - everything seemed to sparkle with the moisture that hung thickly in the air.
But soon he realised that the mist they were watching was frequent on that side of the mountain, or at least to the side he was gazing at. He'd heard that the lands that were haunted by a constant mist were the lands that he would forever loath and fear. The Balkar lands.

A shudder ran down his spine at the thought and he tore his azure gaze away from the sight, looking now to the opposite side of the mountain where the mist was far thinner and lighter - far more beautiful than huanted.
Though the light voice, full of sudden distaste, of Renn pulled him back to earth and his head swivelled round to meet her green eyes again. Surprise at the sudden change of topic, his auds perked and a light growl escaped his muzzle before words did. "Well...emm..." he stuttered for a moment, trying to remember back to when he had met the silver faemme with a matted pelt. "I had left List to go for a small wander in the Kerl lands, to see if anything had changed or maybe to meet another that I'd befriended whilst being a Kerl myself. But I ran into her on the lonely moors and we got talking. Seeing as she was all alone, I felt very sorry for her having to spend a night alone with the thought of me returning to a warm den with other vargs. So I emm...slept out with her that night to keep her company," he trailed off, not realising he'd probably given Renn more information than she had orignally asked for.
Cocking an aud and raising his brow in question he leaned in closer to his golden pelted faemme. "Why do you ask?"

[Renn]

((Random question: are List allies to the Balkar?))

Renn's whole body stiffened as Drathlic spoke of staying with Silent for a night. Avoidng his azure gaze, Renn looked to the lands behind the mountain, unaware that she was staring into Balkar lands. Of course, the golden-hued Varg had heard many tales of the Balkar, a viscious league of Draggas, separated into two Packs, led by a First. Their current First of the Balkar was Serg, a massive black Dragga who was the Alpha Male in Sarnes, similar to the Balkar, but with faemmes and it was more Packish than ranks of Vargs.

Her thoughts were cut off by Drathlic's question, as the ruddy Mann let his curiosity get the better of him. "No reason. . .just curious," Renn answered, hiding her jealousy by keeping her emerald eyes fixed on the Balkar Packlands. Finally, she broke her gaze away and turned back to Drathlic. "Do you have feelings for a faemme, Drathlic?" Reluctantly, Renn voiced her dread to Drathlic.

[Drathlic]

((Yeh they are..from what I gather..))

Curiosity? Was that all that Renn was feeling whilst asking her how he'd met her? Drathlic was almsot certain that was not the only thing running through her head at the time. His first piece of evidence was the way the golden hued faemme had treated Silent when she was first brought into the pack's territory to be judged. She'd ran away after hearing the verdict and refused to even look at him.
His second piece of evidence was with her next question, and with her words coming to a stop, his auds perked with surprise and his eyes flashed with guilt and shame. Tearing his icy blue gaze away from her emerald eyes he stared out across the misty forest, his hackles rippling across his spine as he felt increasingly uncomfortable with the question impending a truthful answer.

After a few moments of silence, he let out a long sigh and remained his focus on the horizon, preying to Tor that Renn would not push her questioning of such a topic. "I...I'm not sure Renn. I mean...I might. But I don't know how you mean...by feelings I mean," he stuttered ueslessly, casting a sidelong glance at his golden pelted faemme before darting his eyes back out to the canopy again, affraid to even look her in the eyes to see what her reaction would be.

[Renn]

Sighing as Drathlic did not give her the answer she wanted to hear, Renn rested her head on her over-sized golden paws, her emrald orbs dull. "By 'feelings', I mean something deeper than friendship. More than just hunting together, or meeting up. I'm talking about when you see them, you feel a strange stirring through your bones and automatically swear to die for them. It is even deeper than the Pack bond, for you would betray the Pack just to help that one person."

Eyes flashing, Renn raised her head and gazed up at Drathlic, pawing at his snout. Why was she asking him this? He could always catch on to her hidden meaning and laugh. Breathing deeply, Renn slowly calmed the feelings that had been whirling up a storm inside her.